Redefining Walking With Jesus

"Imagine if the Tea Party Was Black" - Tim Wise

2010-04-29T13:48:00.002-04:00

"Imagine if the Tea Party Was Black" - Tim Wise

Let’s play a game, shall we? The name of the game is called “Imagine.” The way it’s played is simple: we’ll envision recent happenings in the news, but then change them up a bit. Instead of envisioning white people as the main actors in the scenes we’ll conjure - the ones who are driving the action - we’ll envision black folks or other people of color instead. The object of the game is to imagine the public reaction to the events or incidents, if the main actors were of color, rather than white. Whoever gains the most insight into the workings of race in America, at the end of the game, wins.

So let’s begin.

Imagine that hundreds of black protesters were to descend upon Washington DC and Northern Virginia, just a few miles from the Capitol and White House, armed with AK-47s, assorted handguns, and ammunition. And imagine that some of these protesters —the black protesters — spoke of the need for political revolution, and possibly even armed conflict in the event that laws they didn’t like were enforced by the government? Would these protester — these black protesters with guns — be seen as brave defenders of the Second Amendment, or would they be viewed by most whites as a danger to the republic? What if they were Arab-Americans? Because, after all, that’s what happened recently when white gun enthusiasts descended upon the nation’s capital, arms in hand, and verbally announced their readiness to make war on the country’s political leaders if the need arose.

Imagine that white members of Congress, while walking to work, were surrounded by thousands of angry black people, one of whom proceeded to spit on one of those congressmen for not voting the way the black demonstrators desired. Would the protesters be seen as merely patriotic Americans voicing their opinions, or as an angry, potentially violent, and even insurrectionary mob? After all, this is what white Tea Party protesters did recently in Washington.

Imagine that a rap artist were to say, in reference to a white president: “He’s a piece of shit and I told him to suck on my machine gun.” Because that’s what rocker Ted Nugent said recently about President Obama.

Imagine that a prominent mainstream black political commentator had long employed an overt bigot as Executive Director of his organization, and that this bigot regularly participated in black separatist conferences, and once assaulted a white person while calling them by a racial slur. When that prominent black commentator and his sister — who also works for the organization — defended the bigot as a good guy who was misunderstood and “going through a tough time in his life” would anyone accept their excuse-making? Would that commentator still have a place on a mainstream network? Because that’s what happened in the real world, when Pat Buchanan employed as Executive Director of his group, America’s Cause, a blatant racist who did all these things, or at least their white equivalents: attending white separatist conferences and attacking a black woman while calling her the n-word.

Imagine that a black radio host were to suggest that the only way to get promoted in the administration of a white president is by “hating black people,” or that a prominent white person had only endorsed a white presidential candidate as an act of racial bonding, or blamed a white president for a fight on a school bus in which a black kid was jumped by two white kids, or said that he wouldn’t want to kill all conservatives, but rather, would like to leave just enough—“living fossils” as he called them—“so we will never forget what these people stood for.” After all, these are things that Rush Limbaugh has said, about Barack Obama’s administration, Colin Powell’s endorsement of Barack Obama, a fight on a school bus in Belleville, Illinois in which two black kids beat up a white kid, and about liberals, generally.

Imagine that a black pastor, formerly a member of the U.S. military, were to declare, as part of his opposition to a white president’s policies, that he was ready to “suit up, get my gun, go to Washington, and do what they trained me to do.” This is, after all, what Pastor Stan Craig said recently at a Tea Party rally in Greenville, South Carolina.

Imagine a black radio talk show host gleefully predicting a revolution by people of color if the government continues to be dominated by the rich white men who have been “destroying” the country, or if said radio personality were to call Christians or Jews non-humans, or say that when it came to conservatives, the best solution would be to “hang ‘em high.” And what would happen to any congressional representative who praised that commentator for “speaking common sense” and likened his hate talk to “American values?” After all, those are among the things said by radio host and best-selling author Michael Savage, predicting white revolution in the face of multiculturalism, or said by Savage about Muslims and liberals, respectively. And it was Congressman Culbertson, from Texas, who praised Savage in that way, despite his hateful rhetoric.

Imagine a black political commentator suggesting that the only thing the guy who flew his plane into the Austin, Texas IRS building did wrong was not blowing up Fox News instead. This is, after all, what Anne Coulter said about Tim McVeigh, when she noted that his only mistake was not blowing up the New York Times.

Imagine that a popular black liberal website posted comments about the daughter of a white president, calling her “typical redneck trash,” or a “whore” whose mother entertains her by “making monkey sounds.” After all that’s comparable to what conservatives posted about Malia Obama on freerepublic.com last year, when they referred to her as “ghetto trash.”

Imagine that black protesters at a large political rally were walking around with signs calling for the lynching of their congressional enemies. Because that’s what white conservatives did last year, in reference to Democratic party leaders in Congress.

In other words, imagine that even one-third of the anger and vitriol currently being hurled at President Obama, by folks who are almost exclusively white, were being aimed, instead, at a white president, by people of color. How many whites viewing the anger, the hatred, the contempt for that white president would then wax eloquent about free speech, and the glories of democracy? And how many would be calling for further crackdowns on thuggish behavior, and investigations into the radical agendas of those same people of color?

To ask any of these questions is to answer them. Protest is only seen as fundamentally American when those who have long had the luxury of seeing themselves as prototypically American engage in it. When the dangerous and dark “other” does so, however, it isn’t viewed as normal or natural, let alone patriotic. Which is why Rush Limbaugh could say, this past week, that the Tea Parties are the first time since the Civil War that ordinary, common Americans stood up for their rights: a statement that erases the normalcy and “American-ness” of blacks in the civil rights struggle, not to mention women in the fight for suffrage and equality, working people in the fight for better working conditions, and LGBT folks as they struggle to be treated as full and equal human beings.

And this, my friends, is what white privilege is all about. The ability to threaten others, to engage in violent and incendiary rhetoric without consequence, to be viewed as patriotic and normal no matter what you do, and never to be feared and despised as people of color would be, if they tried to get away with half the shit we do, on a daily basis.

Game Over.

Tim Wise is among the most prominent anti-racist writers and activists in the U.S. Wise has spoken in 48 states, on over 400 college campuses, and to community groups around the nation. Wise has provided anti-racism training to teachers nationwide, and has trained physicians and medical industry professionals on how to combat racial inequities in health care. His latest book is called Between Barack and a Hard Place.

found here

New Site

2010-03-07T14:12:00.002-05:00

Hi friends and stalkers.
I have finally grown up and started a real website. It can be found at Jeremiah's Words and will hopefully include a new post of at least 20 words every Sunday. For now that is the plan. If it doesn't work out I will start trading cane swords and make millions of dollars that way.
peace and love from the One above.
Jeremiah

Orang Utan 2010

2010-02-04T02:36:00.002-05:00

Hey,

I have titled this tour Orang Utan 2010 because hairy men will be living the dream.

I leave in a few long hours to my old stomping grounds where amok will prevail. I will be flying into Singapore and boarding a bus to Penang, and then a plane to Kota Kinabalu and back and around some other places over the next two weeks. Wish me luck. Pray for me- if that's your deal and I will be back in the saddle on the 18th.

What did Jeremiah do last night?

2010-01-30T19:47:00.001-05:00

Well it started with some pizza, then there was some poutine, and a talk about Nationalism, Patriotism and dying for others with a drunk Mexican and ended by seeing a 8, 10 and 17 year old rock the faces of a lot of rockabillies off....their website is below. I havent found a video that really does them justice!

http://www.myspace.com/madmaxandthewildones

Finished and just beginning

2010-01-28T01:28:00.002-05:00

Hi friends,

So I am officially completed with my bachelor's degree. I now have a Bachelor of Science in Human Development from Warner Pacific College in Portland through the degree completion program. I have been in class nearly every Tuesday night for the past 19 months. This is why I had my last class on a Tuesday in January.

Since I left class last night I have realized I don’t know how to express what I feel. I have been excited a lot and also have been asked "what's next?" a lot. For now, it’s a two week trip to Malaysia in a week. And the largest party I have ever thrown in March. But then what?

I have a lot of debt. In that a lot more than I planned on having. And so I will keep working for a couple years. Then Vietnam? Cuba? Antarctica? China? Malaysia? Timbuktu? Kansas?

I don’t know. I recently was chatting with a new friend that likes to ask deep questions. I talked a lot about God's plan… for my future, my well being, my joy. I said I wanted to be in the center of God's will for where to go. And who to live with and who to give my money. But I don’t even know what that means.

Which leads me here writing, listening to the moth podcast, sitting with gym shorts on my head because my beanie is downstairs and the house is cold. Wondering how I got here. And realizing that no matter my plan and failures… God is with me and keeps me in His plan whether I like it or not. Like Jonah.

Amen? Thoughts?

Oh and this is how I celebrate... a bucket of Voodoo donuts.

Latest news

2010-01-21T00:55:00.003-05:00

Hi friends,

I have gotten some emails about how I am doing lately. I just wanted to share I am great. I am digging life in Portland, have an awesome job in a horrible economy and have one more night of class and two more papers before I am done with my bachelor's and am digging the ways my church is reaching out to the community.

Most importantly I have not given a full update on Cambodia. I will not be leaving in two Sundays. Mostly because I didn't raise the money and the team was larger than initially planned. I WILL BE GOING IN SEPTEMBER or August. So I still need contributions if people are willing. The team had a couple changes and I was approached to defer to the later trip. I initially was not willing but after a lot of thought accepted.

I will still be in Malaysia from the 5th through 17th of February though. I will be eating, laughing, touristing and hiking Mt Kinabalu! Please let me know if you will or can be in Penang during that time and I will give you more details. I am most excited to climb a mountain in Borneo mostly because it sounds so cool.

For those who are used to me being incredibly involved in ministry it is quite a different Jeremiah around now. I am involved at Imago with feeding homeless about once a month (although I should do it more) and am in a couple discussion type groups where we discuss race in the context of reconciling the Body and "Lost". Ok, that one isn't a ministry but it's fun.

I did noticed I have recently made it a ministry to stop false doctrine and hate speech. A few mornings a week I spot a post it note on a light post that reads "TO GOD YOU WILL ANSWER!" in large letters with scriptures in smaller letters below - Ecc 12:13-14, Romans 1:18-20, Matt 12:36-37. I believe strongly that these verses are incredibly out of context and at first I just was angry with them. One morning I saw someone nonchalantly rip it off and keep walking. I smiled. I felt this was what needed to be done. So if I see them I do take them. This is my ministry now, stopping people in this city from thinking God hates them when it is proven He loves them.

Ironically, I do this because I believe God is watching me and is wanting me to carry out His work. Some might say I will answer to Him, but instead of the big scary judge that condemns me, I believe He will ask if I am sinful and when I start making excuses and apologizing He will simply bear hug me with the love of the Heavens!

I have added the verses with larger context below (italics mine). Please click the link for Romans because I strongly disagree with quoting any of that first chapter without the rest. Am I sinning or are condemning tracts misrepresenting the God who died once for all?

Matthew 12:30-38 (New International Version)

30" He who is not with me is against me, and he who does not gather with me scatters. 31 And so I tell you, every sin and blasphemy will be forgiven men, but the blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven. 32 Anyone who speaks a word against the Son of Man will be forgiven, but anyone who speaks against the Holy Spirit will not be forgiven, either in this age or in the age to come. 33 "Make a tree good and its fruit will be good, or make a tree bad and its fruit will be bad, for a tree is recognized by its fruit. 34 You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. 35 The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him.

36 But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken. 37 For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned."

Ecclesiastes 12 (New International Version)

9 Not only was the Teacher wise, but also he imparted knowledge to the people. He pondered and searched out and set in order many proverbs. 10 The Teacher searched to find just the right words, and what he wrote was upright and true.

11 The words of the wise are like goads, their collected sayings like firmly embedded nails—given by one Shepherd. 12 Be warned, my son, of anything in addition to them. Of making many books there is no end, and much study wearies the body.

13 Now all has been heard;

here is the conclusion of the matter:

Fear God and keep his commandments,

for this is the whole duty of man.

14 For God will bring every deed into judgment,

including every hidden thing,

whether it is good or evil.

Romans 1 (New International Version) http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Romans+1&version=NIV

Money money mon-ney

2010-01-17T11:19:00.003-05:00

Hey.

In February or so I posted that I set a budget and had a couple goals for how I spent my money. Since I tend to judge a lot of people based on their spending patterns and debts I figured I would be transparent here. I spent about 6 hours today going through my five credit cards and bank accounts seeing how 2009 stacked up.

I gave 19% of my net income away.

I saved 20% of my gross income

That's the good news

I also spent $9,718.33 over budget, including $496 in finance charges.

$2, 659.63 on eating and drinking out which is just under rent and school! And is 638% over budget! Take that! ($360 was budget for non-math majors)

I also was 104% over book budget.

In addition I added the following categories for 2010

Travel (you would think thats a given)

Housewares

Electronics (was supposed to be part of "books" which would have put me 542% of budget)

Auto Repair (instead of just "transportation")

Medical Transcriptionist

So that is my report.

How'd ya'll do this year?

Haiti

2010-01-15T00:45:00.003-05:00

Hi friends,
I am overwhelmed at the pictures I see in Haiti. The situation has been disgraced by many in the media, especially Christian media, that they deserved it. I am not sure how anyone ever deserves death by our judgement. I plead with you to support those in need of relief now. I have linked to a couple organizations I think are awesome. As for my thoughts on what the media is saying scan the following conversation I had with a like hearted friend.
Donate $10 to $1 million below. (and remember coffers need to be refilled after times like these)

http://www.worldconcern.org/
http://www.onedayswages.org/donate/org/haiti-emergency-relief-fund
https://www.medicalteams.org/NetCommunity/SSLPage.aspx?pid=320&fund=17
http://doctorswithoutborders.org/

http://cadyinhaiti.blogspot.com/2010/01/ways-to-help.html

Appendix II

9:27 PM me: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/01/14/limbaugh-weve-already-don_n_422958.html

9:29 PM Susie: What a dick

9:30 PM me: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/01/13/pat-robertson-haiti-curse_n_422099.html

Susie!?!?!

Susie: Sorry...but seriously? Heartless people piss me off.... thousands have died, get off ur soapbox people

9:31 PM me: that language is not permitted here

my thoughts exactly

Susie: Sorry :-(

me: tis ok, I just called him an asshole

9:35 PM good thing there are people like you and me!

9:36 PM Susie: Oh my gosh.... the dominican republic has oppressed haitians and have come out of colonization with the upperhand....to say that they're wealthy becuz god has blessed them and not haiti.... is he stupid!

GAHHHHHHH

9:37 PM me: “Here are a few perspectives that, hopefully, will keep you from throwing a stapler through a wall”: http://donmilleris.com/2010/01/13/1513/

Sorry if you are doing hw. I am done with links

6 minutes

9:44 PM Susie: Damn right... whew

me: I like his foot notes!

9:45 PM Can I put this conversation on my blog if I change your name?

7 minutes

9:53 PM me: yes? thanks!

9:54 PM Susie: Yes you can repost without my name-Susie

Cambodian Holidays

2009-12-30T17:50:00.002-05:00

Hi friends,
Firstly, I am not going to Cambodia in February. I will be going in about September 2010 and will have more details when they are known to me.

I wish you all a Happy Christmas ( a bit late) and a Joyous New Year. Also there is a new website in the works. I will post info when you all ask and comment a lot.

Peace and love from the One above.

Merry Festival Season Time

2009-12-18T13:23:00.001-05:00

10 by 260 campaign

2009-12-18T13:03:00.000-05:00

Hi friends,

If you haven't heard I am going to Cambodia. In February. But to get there and not go farther into debt than school has forced me into, I am attempting to raise support for the volunteer portion of the trip.*** (No raised funds will be used for my extra-curricular mountain expedition).

So I have started the 10 by 260 campaign.

The goal is to find 260 people that will give $10 a piece. Most of you know that $10 does not go very far today. It is two meals a cheap fast food place or one meal (if lucky) at a restaurant with metal forks and movable chairs.

Or less than half a night at the Brass, Ryan!

As of today I have six spots of the 260 taken- from the same person.

That leaves 254 left. Do you want one? or six or 10?

The way I see it, I need help because I almost completed my bachelor's degree finally.

So if you have been one of those people chiding me for the last 10 years, I have set up compensation plans for you.

If you are excited I finished finally and want to get me a gift... $10

If you thought ...

I needed a degree to get anywhere in life- $50

I couldn't do it- $100

I was a slacker with a low emotional intelligence - $250

If you know what that last one means- $500 (even though you are right)

You can donate online or by mail. Checks sent to Imago Dei are eligible for tax-deductions. Checks can also be sent to me by request. Instructions are below.

As a side note, if you are sending in money, thanks and please just drop me a line so I know how much I have to stand on street corners to get the rest around Christmas time!

Thanks so much,

Jeremiah

Donate online here. Please include Jeremiah Meeks and Cambodia in "comments"

Please feel free to forward this to praying friends and playing neighbors.

Checks can be made out to Imago Dei Community. Please include Cambodia 2010 and Jeremiah Meeks on the Memo line. Mail to address below.

Attn: Terry Shoman, Imago Dei Community, 2830 NE Flanders, Portland, OR 97232

*** Why are you raising funds you may ask? Well I have been living fairly modestly, and have taken out loans for only half of my education which I will finish in January and need to be repaid in August. Even with great employment, short term trips are difficult to finance. Any help is appreciated. I admit I am not any better than the dude at the liquor store asking for your change. (What were you doing there, though?) I will also say I am not the most needy source this time of year, just the cutest and funniest (right?)

Opposite of Advent Conspiracy

2009-12-09T21:28:00.003-05:00

This is the opposite of Advent Conspiracy and SICK. If you need to take a loan out to buy Christmas presents you most likely are not honoring a God that believes in simple living. Maybe you should think before you swipe? YES YOU...no, that guy, YOU!

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Pay Your Bill

11 years

2009-12-01T13:52:00.002-05:00

Welp, we've made it 11 years. Still wish you were here and that I didn't have to pay people to talk about the issues you would excitingly walk me through. It's been a rough road, that I have fallen off, jumped off and crawled back onto. And after these 11 years I think I am finally realizing how much you taught me to survive if anything bad ever happened to you. Thanks Dad.

Advent with the conspiracy

2009-11-27T18:43:00.002-05:00

Hey look at this.

Wanna return anything?

10 x 260

2009-11-27T01:37:00.005-05:00

Yo man, Can I get 10 bucks? I am not tugging at heart strings, just showing the situation.

Pastor Abraham is doing great work!

The kids are already happy!

People helping themselves get up from their situation!

Their well is being cleaned, but still not usable.

Cambodians are awesome!

I am now 16/260 so their is plenty of room to be used by God. It is a blessing to give, but I can not promise that God will give you physical blessings like a new Bentley if you do.

Another Gift Idea

2009-11-13T12:47:00.003-05:00

So this is long, and kind of sappy but good. Watch 3:45-12:05 ish at least.

I think it should also begin a discussion in your head about how cultures react and love. Jimmy's reaction is COMPLETELY different from Mark Hales' and Ken Coleman's. They should have scripted him breaking down. Just saying.

On a separate note I think it sucks they only have 1200 sponsor packets for the place, but I think most of the attenders of Catalyst can do more in action and less in speech.

Also check out http://www.gfa.org for 100% child and pastor sponsorships through out Asia.

Catalyst 2009 Compassion Moment from Catalyst on Vimeo.

Hey, I'm gonna win a book!

2009-11-06T11:52:00.002-05:00

You could potentially win too if you follow the link below.
http://postrestorationist.blogspot.com/2009/11/giving-away-3-more-copies-of-drops-like.html

The beginnings...

2009-11-06T00:38:00.000-05:00

HEY LOOK

2009-11-06T00:35:00.003-05:00

Holiday in Cambodia

2009-10-27T18:51:00.002-04:00

Hello friends, new and old.

Firstly, for those of you who have not heard from me in over 2 years, I apologize. I am sorry I have been silent but I have embraced technology with a blog, texts and personal emails… and stopped mass mails. I have also become very sarcastic apparently. Please don’t be offended by words.

I am working as a fulfillment specialist for a niche publishing company, am finally finishing my Bachelor’s degree in human development and am attempting to not just be a Christian, but do it! I can explain what that means if asked. I am also volunteering with Not for Sale, attempting to bring awareness and end the slavery of 27 million people in the world today. Since moving to Portland I’ve been attending a Christ centered church that is active in the neighborhood and increasingly in the world. This has been great, but also leads to difficult discussions in my head about staying “comfortable”, like the one below.

As I drank from a city water fountain next to my bus stop today I realized I am rich even as a poor American. It runs 24 hours a day all spring, summer and fall. Potable drinking water flowing all day. We wash our clothes in water we can drink, shower in drinkable water, and boil already drinkable water for our coffee and our food.

This is not always the case. For more than 2 billion people in the world there is no running water available to their village. They must walk to a river or source often nearby, but away from their “latrines” and trash. This leads me to the reason for this letter. I am taking a Holiday in Cambodia! But with my church and partners, not the Dead Kennedys.

We will be helping a village that was forced out of their homes and the city. Imagine you are living on the brink of complete poverty. But you have a job as a waiter, or a canner (picking up cans for deposit or recycling) or as a porter. With this money you are able to buy your family their daily bread so they can eat. On a good day you can also buy a new shirt, or some fuel to cook with. You are happy and making ends meet, until one day the government comes in and tells you they need the property your home is on. Your ENTIRE slum— 9,000 families— is taken from what you called home to a field where there is nothing. As you get off the bus you realize that you have been traveling for longer than expected. You are told it would cost more than a day’s wages to get back to work and home again so you are forced to quit your job. You are forced to start making ends meet again but your roof is leaking and you have to step over waste everywhere you walk. You don’t feel well and the clinic is too full for you to get the cheap treatment needed. Which ends first?

This is where Advent Conspiracy, Medical Teams International, and Imago Dei Community come in.

For those of you that think Cambodians need to pray the sinner’s prayer before receiving help that is exactly what I will tell you we are doing, as long as your check is over $250. For those of you that think these people need some medical care, some roofing repairs, some sanitation care, some clean water and some children need to be played with…I will tell you the truth and say that is our goal. Personally, I will be working with the children, helping the doctors and assisting with the implementation of a sanitation system …whatever that means. Oh, and eating amazing food!

My teammates and I could use your prayers. We will be at An Dong from February 2nd through 10th with another 4 day vision trip into Hanoi. I will then be taking a true holiday in Malaysia with friends for another week before I return to the grind of the false American dream.
We could also use some of that extra cash you have burning a hole in your pocket. I realize this is a tough time for everyone, but if you want another $10 or $1,000 deduction on your 2009 taxes, I am here to help. The total cost will be about $2600. I would actually like to raise a little extra to help out teammates and bless them in this. I have been humbled by fundraising previously and want to share that experience. All money is due by January 10th.
My plea is even if you don’t send me money that you would check out Advent Conspiracy and give some time and creativity to your family this Christmas instead of more socks.

Thanks. In Him who gives me strength and love.

Jeremiah

PS. Please feel free to forward to all your praying friends, and playing neighbors.

Payments can be made online here. Please include “Cambodia 2010 and Jeremiah Meeks” in the comment box.
Checks can be made out to Imago Dei Community. Please include Cambodia 2010 and Jeremiah Meeks on the Memo line. Mail to address below.

Attn: Terry Shoman
Imago Dei Community
2830 NE Flanders
Portland, OR 97232

2009-10-16T22:40:00.001-04:00

This is what I feel like saying to the world.

PTO

2009-10-14T23:17:00.007-04:00

So I have an awesome job...which is to say that I don’t hate working where I do. One of the benefits is not having to fake sickness when I need a day to relax. A day when I can hop in the car with a book and fantasize I am running away... to the mountains. Today I was able to go to Timberline Lodge, drink a couple porters and read half of Catcher in the Rye. I rocked out to some Pearl Jam on the way there and some Outkast on the way back. It was 38 F when I got there and raining and windy. Kind of like a mountain. Plus the elevation didn't allow me to hike much which lead me inside to the pub. That is a good day in my head!

Here are a couple pictures...

The Shack

2009-10-11T02:36:00.004-04:00

So I heard Wm. Paul Young, author of The Shack, speak this morning. He is one of the most powerful speakers I have heard recently and that is saying something as I have gotten 6 books signed this year. His mix of honesty and brokenness made me realize that we are imperfect and all in the same boat. He doesnt pull punches when discussing how he dealt with infidelity, sexual abuse, death, rejection...and how he heard God.

In the talk he shared a lot of how his book has sold 7.5 million copies in the US and been translated into 26 languages and has 50,000 emails from people sharing personally stories of their shacks. But in the midst of that, he was actually speaking to the faithfulness of God blessing the work of a broken, messed up, sinful professional toilet scrubber. The book was originally "published"at Office Depot after Christmas with their Christmas money and given to their children and close friends. 15 copies were sent. Now there are over 7.5 million copies! He is not an amazing writer, in fact some of it could be tweeked, but his story telling and metaphor building is AMAZING.

So if you have not read the Shack, GO...NOW...

With that said the first 50 pages are harder to get through than a snowstorm in Birkenstocks. But there is hope and Papa wants to show you how much he cares and say He is especially fond of you.

Good Day?

2009-10-06T01:55:00.003-04:00

Random thoughts in no order

- So I will finally sleep in a bed again tonight. The couch is very comfortable the first time, but loses its adventurous qualities the following nights. There is no water anymore, but also no carpet. and everything is still 5 feet off the ground for safety.

- I was challenged today with the words "I don't think you are truly experiencing God. That's your problem" by a name many of you would recognize when we had coffee for the first time....it was challenging but also made me laugh because on the ride home the song Roses by Outkast was playing in my head.

- We discovered a handball court in our basement

that's it. Goodnight.

God, I didnt mean like that

2009-10-01T04:28:00.004-04:00

So I have this story in my head and I am attempting to share those stories when they come up. It’s about a tiger, a lion and a ...never mind. It is not as cool as me coming home at 9pm ish after a long day of work, dinner and the monthly prayer time to a gushing sound. It sounded like someone left the bathtub running, but louder and much, much worse. It wasn’t upstairs so I went down...the sound was getting louder and wow my foot's wet! Oh, my ankle and higher is wet. I promptly took my shoes off and rolled up my pants to investigate. I also barely touched the water to make sure I wasn’t going to be electrocuted. I got closer to the noise, it was behind the washer and so I turned off all the valves finally noticing the water is pouring out one of the hoses which is MAJORly cracked. Not like a little pin hole (although it might have started that way) it was up to needing 13 stitches large.

Did I mention my ankles were wet? I started flipping on lights and found the entire basement flooded... and not just a little bit, but like ankle deep the entire way...including my room...for those of you who don’t know I live in the basement, but it's ok cause it's not my mom's. Also flooded were the bathroom, rec room (which is at current empty but could use a pool table) as well as the laundry room...which is where it started. Our washer has a demon I think. First a couple weeks ago it fried the hot water heater and made more than one of us in the house think there was going to be an electrical fire in the walls. Then tonight it busted a hose to make a large house fill with about 8" of water. But with every bad there is a good, like my floating carpet which gave a weird walking on water feeling as you glided across it!

It is now 145 am. Well past my bed time. We used a sump pump to get the bulk of the water out and there is a dehumidifier working. My current clothing system had an in-between pile in the closet which was mostly the clothes I wore on nights and weekends and could be worn multiple times for a couple hours before necessitating a wash. The wash has been necessitated. Also my pig speaker from Hong Kong drowned, as it gave forth a minimum of 2 gallons from its snout (speaker) when I turned it over. I have also most likely lost a pair of shoes (all are soaked) and 4 books. But (in reference to the title) I am better than those impacted by the tsunamis, floods, and earthquakes in America Samoa, Indonesia, Philippines, and Central Vietnam.

Please pray for those people a little bit more than me. I will most likely miss at least half a day tomorrow to clean my clothes, but I still have an amazing couch to sleep on (don’t want to wake up to the still slightly floating carpet) and the ability to repair or replace the "losses".

Thanks and God Bless.

PS There should be a story of true singleness and prayer and how they relate for many people.

STOP SLAVERY

2009-09-29T01:32:00.003-04:00

http://sctnow.donordrive.com/participant/jeremiah

Hey friends,

I am doing a walk a thon to stop the trafficking of children. Wont you give me $5(or more)? There is a link on the site above, or I can accept cash and checks.

I can answer questions about this issue in the world and YOUR city....that's right no matter where you are living it is happening.

And if you dont support me on this walk I will assume you like Child to be Trafficked!

Thanks.

2 Chapters

2009-09-22T10:20:00.004-04:00

RAW
Hey guys,
So it is 720 am and I just read the first two chapters of Don's new book- A Million Miles in A Thousand Years. (Yes I have shaken his hand about 5 times so we are on a first name basis. ) It is really sweet and the simple fact i read it in the morning speaks for the fact it relates to the reader. Also as I exited the bus, I found a chair and finished the chapter before progressing to work.
My favorite line so far is

"What kind of movies do you like?- Reese's Peanut Butter Cups"

I have two suggested books to read on the list as well now.

The thing I love about Don's writing is that I can relate and love taking the ride as he tells a story but there is so much truth packed in it. My buddy Jon talks about how the fact he will just be joking around and then drops like the A bomb of a concept. I dig seeing him speaking becasue when he does it literally sucks the air out of the auditorium.

So check out http://www.donaldmillerwords.com/index.php and donmilleris.com for more information.

also if he is coming to a city near you. Go check him out. It is worth the small amount of cash- which is for a good cause.

Series has ended

2009-09-22T00:13:00.002-04:00

Thank you to all who followed the series on this channel. It has now ended and will soon be replaced with another adventure. The upcoming series will include eating, fighting human trafficking and potentially some conflict. Please stay tuned and Selamat Hari Raya Adilfitri to all!

another Thursday

2009-09-18T01:22:00.005-04:00

Hey.

I wrote a lot today. About human trafficking, and slavery and people mistreating others. I also filled out another application for my February trip. It has made me realize we all need something more than our innate nature. For me, that is Jesus and His plan for me. For other, there are other things like canoeing or walking or... I am glad that I only have two more days of fasting, but I am worried I will just fall back into the old habits of Taco Bell on class night and Subway three lunches a week and forget about the destitute and dying. Yes, I admit I am that shallow. F I forget why I am fasting 40% of the days I am not eating. So what are the readers going to do to become more world assisting and knowledgeable. I have realized when I acquire knowledge that kids are being raped for someone else's profit I can't be silent. When an 8 year old in Bangladesh was paid four cents to make my sweater vest (hypothetically) I paid $50 for it makes me sad and not want to buy another sweater vest, or hoodie, or shirt, or pair of pants that is not freely made. I know the argument is that we are all "forced" to work. But I didn’t get beaten when I didn’t meet my quota today, and get paid for not being there occasionally. I force myself to get up, but I have freedom to do everything else in my day...including not doing homework!

As a reminder http://sctnow.donordrive.com/participant/jeremiah is accepting donations for a walk in less than 10 days! I can provide more details as needed. Simply reply below or email or face book me.

Thanks.

Peace and love from the One above.

Jeremiah

PS for those of you not privileged enough to be my fb friends.

Hello Friends, and others...I am participating in a walk to end child slavery. You know the ones who make our clothes, shoes and mine our diamonds. They are also forced to be raped more than any of us want to imagine or talk about. Please think about donating a portion of your weekly lunch budget to help! And as you eat that bologna and plastic cheese sandwich you made to save money you can remember you also saved a life! You can follow the instructions below or log onto http://sctnow.donordrive.com/participant/jeremiah and support the movement. (If you don’t I will assume you like to rape and pillage the poorest of the poor)

Thanks

Jeremiah

http://sctnow.donordrive.com/participant/jeremiah

Here is a note from the leader of my team (he is a lot more respectful):

We invite you to join our Stop Child Trafficking Now WALK team as we rally together to end child slavery in this generation!

On the weekend of September 26- 27, 2009, individuals, corporations, religious organizations, communities and campuses will join together to participate in the nation-wide Stop Child Trafficking Now Campaign! This global campaign is slated to attract thousands of people who will walk in their communities and on their campuses, raising funds and broadening awareness for Stop Child Trafficking Now!

You are invited to play a vital role in saving the life of a child by joining our team as a walker, or by contributing financially. If you are not able to walk with our team but would like to make a donation to any of our team members simply click on their name to link to their personal fundraising page. Donations may also be made via check, payable to SCTNow, and mailed to: SCTNow, 414 West 51st Street, Lower Level, New York, NY 10019. Please be sure to include the team member's name in the memo line!

Your support is greatly appreciated!

************************** *******

You can also include this link in the email for folks to directly contribute:

sctnow.donordrive.com/part icipant/Not_For_Sale

Thanks everyone! I really appreciate your willingness to join the fight against child trafficking.

Scott

POST 100

2009-09-16T01:45:00.001-04:00

Hey guys. THe fast is still going. I have been really "not nice" today so will end it here. Looking forward to Hari Raya on Monday and getting to eat and not so "not nice".

Take care.

Xcitement

2009-09-12T19:04:00.002-04:00

I came home after a long fairly boring day at work to smell this putrid, nauseous smell just sitting in the basement. I ask how long it has been around.

“Two Hours”

Really? It smells like something’s burning

“Well, we used the drier a lot”

I was exhausted so went to take a nap. As I was attempting to sleep the smell was getting much stronger and more nauseous. I woke up soon after (well an hour which is about half a normal nap) to a massive headache and what sounded like a UFO outside my window. The UFO has not been identified or even proved to have flown, but it was noisy. I started sniffing around and found the smell was indeed coming from the breaker box. I came upstairs and asked if anyone had been contacted. Like our landlord or the electric company or the fire department. I contacted the landlord and let them know that the house was about to burn down. I also put a message on facebook for people to pray. Yes, I am that great of a Christian.

My roommate and I then spent the next 3 hours keeping watch over the smell. Placing the fire extinguisher near the breaker box, taking our Arm and Hammer out of the fridge to throw on sparks and the best step utilizing our renter’s insurance. Our renter’s insurance is our cars, and so we grabbed what was most precious and most needed to live on a couch and put it in our cars. I also later shut the house’s power off which helped the smell. Our landlord came well after dark and was surprised to see us sitting in front of the darkened house with flashlights and smiles. We explained what we learned (the electric breaker box was smelling and getting worse)

He used his amazing powers (and tools) to isolate the water heater as the problem. And eventually while taking the various panels off the water heater we all found the source of the burning plasticy smell….the heating element had melted a portion of the insulation causing the smell and potentially a house fire. BUT we averted the house fire and were allowed to live.

Oh and the fast went well.

So Tiered

2009-09-11T16:02:00.002-04:00

Hello All-
I didn't even turn on my computer last night. No point I figured as I had sat in front of one at work. Then I realized I deprived you all of what I ate and a story of how tired I am. Please forgive me. I will update more when I have something more to say than that. Maybe Saturday. This blog is proving how monotonous and yet joyous my life is.

Peace and love from the One above.

Another Wednesday

2009-09-10T01:08:00.003-04:00

Hi All,

This nightly report is very difficult. I have xontinued to be sick, but have been able to continue to fast until 630 pm. I was up extremely early and so had a sandwich before dawn. I spent the day off work because of the sneezing and coughing, so slept a lot. I am hurting honestly but will make it through for another 1.5 weeks!

Thanks all.

Monday Evening

2009-09-08T00:50:00.004-04:00

Hello all...

I am still sick and still fasting. Nothing exciting to report. Not sure why I would journal a fast where I do very little. I broke fast with some pot noodles that had 4 packets of seasoning...yes FOUR...that is amazing. They were good and I have had them before was just forgot about the variety, and honestly other packets have 4 just attached together. Maybe I have over blown that story.

So I am about to fall asleep.

Peace.

Sick Day

2009-09-07T03:46:00.002-04:00

Hello all

So I am sick. The beautiful Portland weather decided to become, well more Portland and I left my window open in my basement room which meant was I was breathing cold air all night Friday, and now the throat is not well and the nose has started to drip like the sky outside.

I have recommitted to the fast after the binge Friday, which honestly would have been slightly less than normal when not fasting.

I ate hot dogs which were supposed to be grilled but were cooked in the oven. and cookies. I think tomorrow I need to remember to eat more healthy even though my head is not healthy.

Thanks for the prayers y'all. I will make it and I am thinking of a massive Hari Raya Adilfitri party on Monday the 21st. Anyone down? I will see if I can find a place that will suit the needs of the group as plane tickets cost too much for me to take my buddy Kee up on his offer to join his family again this year. One day I will break fast with them again.

Be blessed, y'all

Jeremiah

Woops

2009-09-05T02:47:00.003-04:00

Hi...so we all fall right?

Well I made the semi-wise decision to break fast a little early on Friday. It was a half day holiday at work, and that generally means a good fellowship time with co-workers. The reasoning was that I would eat early then fast early that night. But for some reason I just kept going. Well, I know the reason and those around me know why I needed food. But I ended up eating some of the worst (unhealthy) food I could in a 12 hours period. Although it was highly delicious and I will be at the corner of 12^th and Hawthorne more often now. I also wasted valuable homework time and watched a lot of you tube. Now it is raining and cold out and I feel like I am getting a cold.

This just proves that we are sinners and fall short of the true Glory of our God. Even when trying to be disciplined I caulked it all up.

So here’s to a better Saturday. And waking up feeling good.

Peace and love from above.

Best Day ever!?!

2009-09-04T23:27:00.001-04:00

Mooo

2009-09-03T01:01:00.003-04:00

Hi,

Today is Wednesday and Wednesdays are boring for me. It was very hard to make it until 630 today. But I made it and had some Filipino noodles.

I got a haircut today by a lovely Vietnamese gal at this little shop called Barber-Q. Yes I stopped for the name. She was hilarious. In a very artistic area of town she was being very artsy with hair. I didn't get anywhere near the cut I asked for, a lot shorter, but whatever. It was real barber shop where she was asking about my day and my relationship status, and why I let my hair grow. Then when she finished she said "Oh now you look young. You will get a girlfriends." I was smiling when I left and my head was a lot lighter, but I think because of the missing hairs. I finally cleaned my office good and that makes me feel good. Work was slow, but steady today and it left me wishing for more. But it was better than trying to find research articles tonight with little success.

Physically I am feeling good. I was hungry almost all day today though, so the noodles were awesome.

Emotionally I am actually wasted. I just feel drained and the lack of work and articles isn't helping.

Spiritually I am doing good. Prayer is almost a regular thing again.

Good Night ya'll.

2009-09-02T02:22:00.001-04:00

HI. I am still going well. Tired. Very Tired. Thanks for the Prayers.

Monday Night

2009-09-01T02:11:00.003-04:00

Hello all-

Today was good. Broke fast with one of the most Portland meals I have made in a while. It was just a sandwich, toasted-of course, with peppered beef and Tillamook Horseradish White Cheddar Cheese and a little mustard on top of some Russian rye. The cheese was a little too strong by itself- like a massive pile of horseradish on a cracker, but on the sandwich it was AMAZING.

So that was exciting.

I worked and updated and organized my itunes tonight. Exciting eh?

Hope you all are doing well. Thanks for all the comments.

Physically I feel Awesome, like healthy and stuff. I am often hungry during the day, and haven’t lost much weight that I can tell. The dress shirt was still a little tight.

Emotionally pretty well.

Spiritually I have been praying. That it. And it is a good thing as I was slacking for about 10 months.

As I said hope all is well. Please comment after I edit these! I want to hear thoughts.

EDITED

Sunday, Sunny Sunday

2009-08-31T01:30:00.003-04:00

Hey there Hey

So today was good. I am struggling to find what to write that isn’t like I broke fast with Korean food and spent 8 hours today doing homework. Although those things are true they are not exciting. Does that mean my life is not exciting? Yes and No.

I mean I didn’t fall off a deck and bust my head open (shout out) and I didn’t get prayed for to go to Africa for 3 years, but I did have a good day.

Physically tired. Yesterday was horrible food wise as I realized how much I use it to procrastinate. I mean I still procrastinated quite well.

Emotionally- great.

Mentally- good

Spiritually- Church rocked my socks off today. I think it was a good service, but I really felt God speaking for the first time in months. And I got more excited for Cambodia when they were sending a gal to Africa. I like my church.

Well. Sleep is needed if I will make it through tomorrow. Maybe I will dream of chickens again...

Day 7

2009-08-29T02:46:00.005-04:00

Hey kids. It’s been a week since I ate lunch. Weird...

Today was my hardest physical day. I moved the work storage room upstairs...well the contents, and I think it was about 15 fully loaded hand truck trips. So I most likely threw a couple thousand pounds today. My biceps feel like I did a full work out. Check out the Gun SHOW...

Emotionally I am great as well...surprisingly.

Spiritually I found out I made a team headed to Cambodia in February so I am pretty siked to do that but my first thought was "I need to really start praying again" this is because I know a trip like that without prayer will be nearly impossible.

It was long day so I will end there.

Selamat malam.

EDIT

2009-08-28T01:31:00.002-04:00

Hey guys,

Sorry I missed a day and almost a second. I have been just slammed, and haven’t had much time to concentrate on fasting. Broke early today because of Happy Hour with work. Does that make me a horrible sinner? If it does I apologize and repent.

I am eating very little now. I fill up very fast and am ALWAYS hungry it seems.

Had a very physical day and expect another tomorrow. Throwing boxes around at work!

Please pray as I am approaching one week!

Peace.

Tuesday Night

2009-08-26T02:24:00.001-04:00

Hey kids,
Another day, another starving 13 hours. I was actually good in the morning and middle afternoon, but had incredible pangs of hunger at like 330pm. I got home and was able to sleep some before class, which allowed me to stay awake through class and the after party at The Brass. I had some fried rice from Hung Far Low to break fast. I say this not to detail my life but to mention I ate at Hung Far Low finally. It was just as greasy and bland as all the other little shops around. I most likely will not go back.
Physically - Did well for most of the day. A lot of activity makes me tired though. Fell asleep on bus home again. Pants are still tight, so not thinking I have lost the 45 pounds desired.
Emotionally - Awesome, I felt good and presented my 10 minute part well. We had a lot of issues with tech things and I didn't even get angry.
Spiritually- I prayed a little today and made it through the fasting. The hunger has not gone away like the long term juice fasts.
EDIT

mmmm sleep

2009-08-25T01:06:00.005-04:00

Hi,

So today was looonng as Ron White would say. The fasting was actually annoying. Made it until 7 pm again. My stomach is not sure what to make of this one meal at night, but is happy to have something I think. I had a lot of physical work that made my belly start roaring by 2pm. Also the short staff-ed-ness of the office was taking a toll on my hunger induced patience...But I made it. I think I might have even prayed at some point. By the time I was able to come home my body was ready, and the bus was barely out of downtown before my eyes were shut. I should most likely mention I have decided to become more complete in the fast and only drink when necessary. Today this happened through keeping the bottle of water out of sight, and generally worked. I have promised work I will not pass out or become too weak to work, so I feel I have to take these precautions.

Another thing I noticed about my lifestyle and location is that I break fast alone at night. I am quite saddened by this as it is so joyous to be able to eat again. Who wants to join me?

Physically- hurting, pained, exhausted

Emotionally – struggling to be nice and calm at times

Spiritually –I mentioned I think I prayed at one point. I do not actually remember a time of prayer though. I will attempt to have that on the bus in the morning.

An additional note is that the third day has always been VERY difficult for me when fasting and today was much the same. But a little easier because I knew I would eat at night.

Peace and love from above.

EDIT

First Sunday

2009-08-23T20:26:00.003-04:00

Hey what’s up?

So it's 11pm again and the day needs to be over. I completed another sunlight fast. I didn’t have any deep revelation or supernatural hunger free hours. In fact I took another long nap and had a few ounces of coffee, some Coke, and some tea to cure the caffeine headache. That is by far the worst part of fasting or cleansing.

Physically today I sat around a lot, at Reconcile, church, and then doing homework. I finished a 13 page paper though, so that's good.

Mentally I have been tired...trying to convince myself that I am doing myself good and I don’t need that Vietnamese sandwich from AnDong.

Spiritually it was quite a good day. As I loved the sermon today as well as the message in reconcile. I also appreciated the daily email I get during this time. It was very enlightening.

So I have the alarm set for 6 am to drink a gallon of water before the sun comes up too strong and then off to another day of fulfilling people!

Peace.

EDIT

Hari Satu

2009-08-23T02:13:00.004-04:00

What's crackin'. Today was fun. Accomplished about 50% of the goals for a first day fast. I had a couple snacks and a cup of coffee because they were part of the freeating, and I was working to do “good”. I helped clean and landscape a local high school that would have not been otherwise. I shoved a shovel for an hour, raked, wheel barrowed, used a blower, and towards the end stood around. I did succeed in only having water from 1045a to 630pm though and had a salad for dinner.

Spiritually, I don’t feel different.

Physically, I am sore from the work and lack of food, even late…and I don’t notice my pants fitting better.

Emotionally I am fine.

I have felt a caffeine headache since about 11am though as I only had a tiny bit at 8 am. This is the hardest part. Haven’t decided if I will fast caffeine completely. I should fast alcohol though.

Good day!

EDITED

Ramadan Fast 1

2009-08-22T02:14:00.004-04:00

EDITED

Hey kids,

So I have decided that this year I will write a fasting journal to assist me in completing the month and allow others to read what I experience. Yes, I think I am that important. I will be posting a raw post daily with misspellings, small i's and bad grammar and attempt to Edit them when I have more time. Surprisingly Google Chrome does not show errors while typing like Firefox. Maybe they will fix that.

I have decided this year to fast food during the day (630ish to 630ish) and for the first couple days do some freeating. This is eating that is free and available to all

Today was fast eve and I treated it completely different than any other fasting eve. I had a McInsley from Pine State Biscuits, then Clay's Smoke House for first AND second lunch and 2.5 ambers for dinner. Oh and a banana bread slice for dessert. You can buy this diet plan someplace in western Florida, just ask for Lucky.

I am excited for tomorrow, as I will be landscaping for Love Portland and then homework and finally a prayer meeting and Dead Elvis party. I will be eating around the prayer meeting. So that is the plan for tomorrow. Isn’t it awesome!?!?

ATTENTION Gravy Chip Fans

2009-08-21T14:20:00.003-04:00

Hamish and Andy are coming....I repeat...Hamish and Andy are coming to the southern United States. Yes, if I still lived in Atlanta I would be able to see them, but I am not currently able because of my Western location. That is why I need all my Southern Readers to find them and hang with them. Please remind Hamish to find his way to Portland for a FREE Bacon Maple Bar from VooDoo Donuts.

I can be reached by comments on here.

The map of their trip is attached below.
http://www.b105.com.au/shows/hamishandandy/american-caravan-of-courage/map

Stop.

Time?

2009-08-18T16:30:00.003-04:00

Ok, so I have time planning issues-- as you can tell from the sporadictic nature of this post, but...I just saw a man reading a printed email while at the urinal!!! I am sorry but if you can't take that small amount of time away from your work...you need to get some help.
That's my rant. Is it too graphic?
Look forward to my fasting journal soon.

In Memoriam

2009-06-29T17:07:00.001-04:00

https://www.whatodor.com/flare/next?tag=os|af

My Philosophy

2009-06-18T13:00:00.002-04:00

Hi kids. I worked hard on this paper for school so figured I would post it to clear up some thoughts I have occasionally posted on here. It might be the best thing you ever read.

My Philosophy

My personal philosophy is based mostly on my culture and family influences. My family has been Christian for multiple generations, mostly as Catholics and Lutherans. My mother’s family is strong Catholics and my father came from Lutheran roots. This leads me to have Martin Luther and the apostle Paul as a couple of my influences. I have also generally questioned every opinion before I agree with it. Occasionally this means that I will not allow another to lead me without understanding their leadership style. Generally it means that I want to study something until I have an opinion on it. This is why I was able to relate to Descartes and Soren Kierkegaard.

Martin Luther is my largest influence as I was indirectly absorbing his words my entire childhood. I grew up in the Lutheran church, two synods in fact being baptised in the Missouri Synod and confirmed in the Evangelical Lutheran Church of America (ELCA). As a child I had very little knowledge of their differences. I knew it was however a big deal for my father and mother to switch synods, which we did because the ELCA pastor was much friendlier and more caring in the new city to which we moved. The few things I knew about Luther were that he was a reformer, that he was German and that he was a monk that decided priests should be allowed to marry. I also went to a catholic school and church in Chicago from five to ten years of age, until we moved. So in a way you can say that I was personally reformed because I had the Catholic understanding to reform. It was not until my late 20’s that I realized the radical reformer Luther was; his bravery in posting the 95 theses and his intelligence of the Bible and life. Martin Luther had a belief so strong –that God saved by grace not works—that he was willing to die for it. I find this amazing as the modern Lutheran church especially in Germany and the western world is a social club that feels they are saved by church attendance, tithing, serving and helping old ladies cross the street. These are good works. When questioned most of the Lutherans I know would not be able to explain who Martin Luther is, the purpose of his 95 Theses or the fact he was the first to translate the Bible for the masses.

Martin Luther has influenced my beliefs by his attitudes and constructions on faith. His desire to find truth and stand up it fits more easily into the bible than the need to pay for forgiveness, which seems to be more like Old Testament worship than New Covenant established under Jesus. He used scriptural basis for all of his arguments and desired to reform the community of Catholics, not to create his own denomination. In closing to his Address to Christian Nobility of the German Nation he uses strong words to stir those in Germany:

Meanwhile, since this devilish state of things is not only an open robbery, deceit, and tyranny of the gates of hell, but also destroys Christianity body and soul, we are bound to use all our diligence to prevent this misery and destruction of Christendom. If we wish to fight the Turk, let us begin here, where they are worst. If we justly hang thieves and behead robbers, why do we leave the greed of Rome so unpunished, that is the greatest thief and robber that has appeared or can appear on earth, and does all this in the holy name of Christ and St. Peter? Who can suffer this and be silent about it? Almost everything that they possess has been stolen or got by robbery, as we learn from our histories. Why, the Pope never bought those great possessions, so as to be able to raise well-nigh ten hundred thousand ducats from his ecclesiastical offices, without counting his gold mines… and his land. He did not inherit it from Christ and St. Peter, no one gave it or lent it to him; he has not acquired it by prescription. Tell me, where can he have got it? You can learn from this what their object is when they end out legates to collect money to be used against the Turk. (Knowles & Snyder, p. 382-383)

I noticed in my late teens as I explored various faiths and religions, that many people seemed to desire to create their own way and allow others to keep practicing. This seemed to be a much more eastern thought pattern to me as it didn’t judge another as wrong, just implied it. This seems to be counter intuitive of the Bible and therefore counter to my faith.

Luther influenced my involvement in that he showed me I should be willing to fight for what I believe in. He took on one of the most powerful men in the modern world and basically won. He forced the men of the Vatican to think about and defend their position. He wanted and forced a dialogue with the scholars of Wittenberg about what they were teaching and why they believed it. I have only recently found my cause to fight for and it has been an uphill battle. My cause is using the gospel of Christ to improve the lives of the world. I am willing to fight for the fact that the Gospel requires we assist as well as proselytize. We can not tell someone they need Jesus in word and not deed. We cannot let someone be hungry, under- clothed, thirsty, lonely, depressed or abused while we tell them how He protects and takes care of us. I want churches, in the western world especially, to be willing to give of their facilities and monies to assist the “least of these” as Christ directed. I often use Luther’s methods to engage people in this discussion.

Luther was a scholar and desired conversation. He didn’t want to just say what was right and wrong. He wanted to debate, study, learn, and hear the basis for someone’s thoughts. This is a method I have found value in and often will attempt to perform. Although I have found it to make many people afraid of me, and dissatisfied with my words as I explain my well rooted belief, instead of simply agreeing with them. This has been a major internal battle over the last year as I have attempted to find if my faith is true and expressed periods of doubt to Christian friends. Surprisingly they have almost all cast me down and told me I am wrong to doubt Him, while I struggle to find out if His truth is real. I guess it is shocking to some people that I would doubt what are considered cornerstones of the Christian faith. Although it is difficult for me to be sold on Jesus healing on command, God blessing on our command or God listening to our sinful prayers for things we know are outside His will. I tend to allow people to rant and then let them know that this is the process that Martin Luther and the Apostle Paul used to gain their faith.

The Apostle Paul has made quite the name for himself by questioning in writing. He is the most prolific writer of the New Testament with the most books canonized. Paul had the history of knowing the Jewish law enough to debate the early Christians and then was converted in a very shocking yet private way. This would be similar today to Rush Limbaugh making a sudden change to not only the Democratic party but to support Nancy Pelosi, President Obama and the likes of Jim Wallis and Donald Miller. Paul did not just become a Christian after killing them; he became the first major overseas missionary of the movement and was willingly prosecuted for it.

Paul’s influence of learning, preaching and being sold out for the faith was a huge step in me becoming a missionary to Asia. Many people disagree with some of his policies like women in the church, marriage and singleness, and of being part of the world. For his time, however he was quite liberal in these themes. The culture often oppressed women and therefore he was attempting to appeal to the masses when he forbids their leadership role in the early church. He thought it would have been more of a hindrance than assistance. This does not mean he was right, just that he thought he was doing what was right. Also he was simply a man. It must be understood that his biblical words were influenced by God, but still written by a man.

Paul also spent many years of silence before his ministry to study and learn about Jesus. He was not an instant preacher like so many people in today’s church, but instead left his persecuting ministry and worked to have an honest message to preach and teach. This philosophy and desire led me to realize that many of the words I was telling people might not have been tested and led me to my current season of reflecting on my faith. If I am going to have my name, face and person known as a Christian, am I knowledgeable enough to defend it? Maybe Paul asked himself that question. Maybe it is just me, but I believe that Paul lived a life of constant learning, while correcting the churches of Corinth, Galatia, Philippi and others. Hopefully one day I can be thought of in a similar manner or at least continuing learning my entire life, whether questioning or believing.

Rene Descartes is another who questioned in order to believe and learn. Descartes was a questioning Christian like my other influences and in doing so was able to prove the existence of God. He was French philosopher who worked in the early 17^th century. Descartes was only able to prove he existed because he thought, and since he thought he must exist. His thought also led him to the belief that there is a God. This is where I am often led. According to Descartes, “it follows from this [cause and effect] both that something can not arise from nothing, and also that what is more perfect—that is, contains in itself more reality—cannot arise from something less perfect.” (Abel, 1992, p. 186) Like a good philosopher though he contradicted himself. He believed that it is “in the nature of the infinite not to be grasped by a finite being like myself.” (p. 187). He made this statement even though he also thought that he had concluded that God existed. This is seen multiple times in statements like, “it is just as much of a contradiction to think of God (that is, a supremely perfect being) lacking existence (that is, lacking a perfection), as it is to think of a mountain without a valley.” And “existence is inseparable from God” (p. 189) He also believed that God is not the one that deceives him into believing there is no creator, but “some malicious demon of the utmost power and cunning” is working to deceive. (p. 179). He believed that if his spirit exists, then if would need a body to exist, and if the body existed it would need sustenance to survive, and sustenance would have to come from the earth, which could only have been created from a sovereign supreme perfect being…God. Somehow this makes complete sense to me, and referencing my ability and the ability of the smartest man, I do not see a way that we evolved from a single organism. Nor do I understand how nothing existed and then we did, no matter the length of time or space. There must be a God or perfect being somewhere someplace. It is not within my understanding however how or why He still relates to humans.

Soren Kierkegaard took this thought of not understanding God’s will to a new level. He was a Danish thinker from the early 19^th century whose life work began existentialism. He was a Christian however and often thought his searching led to people’s deeper conviction. He inherited and lived off his father’s wealth and it was a disagreement with his father that led him to question his faith and beliefs. The people of Denmark were being forced to conform instead of having their individuality praised. Denmark was transforming into a capitalist system, there was a rural to urban movement, and people were becoming more equal. Many were starting to write more, as well as read study and philosophize more. (P Jones, public presentation, May 26, 2009)

In his view the new system was corrupting the people and leading them towards failure. He, like Luther, was not afraid of calling people out.

Suppose someone invented an instrument, a convenient little talking tube which, say, could be heard over the whole land…I wonder if the police would not forbid it, fearing that the whole country would become mentally deranged if it were used. (Muggeridge, 2002, p. 81)

Kierkegaard might have been a prophet as well thinking of talk radio, television (vacuum tube used for talking?) and the internet has been heard over the entire world and has made more than one mentally deranged.

He considered himself a Christian auditor not a prophet or teacher, because apostles proclaim the truth, and auditors find the counterfeit apostles. (p. 89) He felt his job was to challenge the establishment and test them. He once wrote:

Parsons live by presenting the sufferings of others, and that is regarded as religion, uncommonly deep religion even, for the religion of the congregation is nothing but hearing this presented. As a religion…just about as genuine as tea made from a bit of paper which once lay in a drawer beside another bit of paper which had once been used to wrap up a few dried tea leaves from which tea which had been made three times. (p. 88)

He was again worried for the masses of people that were being herded like sheep. The time of Christ had long passed and the people speaking about Him had changed so much they barely represented him any longer. He also knew that the influences of all the European philosophers and thinkers had watered down the Christian gospel. He thought of a solution personally and wrote it like this:

I once contemplated the possibility of not letting myself be taken over by Christianity, to do nothing but expound and interpret it, myself not a Christian in the final and most decisive sense of the word, yet leading others to Christianity. And only now, with the help of heavy sufferings and the bitterness of repentance, have I perhaps learned enough about dying away from the world so that I can rightly speak of finding my whole life and my salvation through faith in the forgiveness of sins. (pp. 83-84)

Again, he never thought he was a teacher of the gospel but an auditor of the church. He was more willing to test the teachings and beliefs of others than to put any out himself. Ironically this leads to his belief and influence in starting the existential movement. Existentialism was “a philosophical movement begun in the 19^th century that denies that the universe has any intrinsic meanings or purpose. It requires people to take responsibility for their own actions and shape their own destinies.” (P Jones, public presentation, May 26, 2009) So Kierkegaard was raised Christian and aligned himself with Christianity, but didn’t think that God was the only one in control of his life. Ironically he is often compared and contrasted with Karl Marx. I think that both created ways of life that work extremely well on paper, but are difficult to put into action.

I am becoming more and more like Kierkegaard in that I wonder how much we have to do for ourselves, and how much we wait on God to see fulfillment. Action is required for His plan to be fulfilled, but when do we know when we are in His will and when we are in ours? This is a question I have as I search for the purpose driving my life.

My personal philosophy is inspired be many people. The most significant is Martin Luther. His thoughts and passions provide a large part of my core beliefs, although they are inspired by Jesus and the apostle Paul. I have also learned and generally agree deeply with Descartes, and have in recent years realized I align with Soren Kierkegaard. I have a worldview rooted in Christianity although a questioning and tested form of Christendom.

References

Abel, D.C. (Ed.). (1992). Theories of human nature: Classical and contemporary readings. NY: McGraw- Hill.

Johnson, P. R. (2001). Luther's 95 theses. Retrieved May 16, 2009, from The Spurgeon Archive Web site: http://www.spurgeon.org/~phil/history/95theses.htm

Knowles & Snyder. (1968). Readings in western civilization. 4^th Ed. Vol 1. New York: J.B. Lippincott Co.

Lull, T. F. (Ed.). (2005). Martin Luther's basic theological writings, 2nd Ed. Minneapolis, MN: Fortress Press.

Muggeridge, M, (2002). A third testament: A modern pilgrim explores the spiritual wanderings of Augustine, Blake, Pascal, Tolstoy, Bonhoeffer, Kierkegaard, and Dostoevsky. Farmington, PA: The Plogh Publishing House.

Palmer, D. (2005) Looking at philosophy: The unbearable heaviness of philosophy made lighter (4^th ed.). NY: McGraw- Hill.

Suzanne's First Day Out - Prison Fellowship

2009-06-17T14:05:00.001-04:00

Suzanne's First Day Out - Prison Fellowship

Shared via AddThis

He Did It

2009-06-16T18:51:00.004-04:00

I am not much of a poet and generally admit that…but this past Good Friday I was in an amazing time of reflection and worship. I just re-found it on my phone and thought I would share. Good Friday is the service I always try to go to church on…often a liturgical church for some reason. I allow myself to miss other Sunday services and midweek and even special services with little debate, but it is always hard for me to find an excuse good enough to miss Good Friday. This year was no different…I know it is now June, but it took me a while to sit down and get this off my blackberry and online…here is what I wrote between insanely acrid tears.

He Did It

The tears burn
The helplessness is strong
I can’t stop thinking
I did that
That mark
That wound
That pain
HE did it for me

I was the reason
I couldn’t help it
I said
I couldn’t stop
I said
It was the enemy
The world is to blame
The circumstances were unfair
I said, but
HE did it for me

BUT NO!
I protest
This is my fault
I will clean up
I will change
I will redo that
I won’t do that again
I will be nicer
I will be sensitive
To them next time
I won’t be so bold
I…I…I can do it
If I had another chance

It is finished
HE said
There is nothing
To do over
No need to change
The past
All is forgotten
All is new
All is f-o-r-g-i-v-e-n

It is finished
My marks
My wounds
My pain
My sin
Are finished

Thank you Jesus
Thank you God
Thank you for suffering
For me
Thank you for dying
For me
Thank you for resurrecting
For me
Just…Just…thanks

new theme

2009-06-16T17:59:00.003-04:00

I came here to look for something I wrote a while ago and noticed I was sick of the same design. Please let me know if you don't like this new theme. I kind of think it's cool, plus it is named HERBERT. C'mon, who doesn't like Herbert?

2009-05-24T00:54:00.001-04:00

I actually have thought this about a couple people- Mother Lawrence and Major Ian Thomas. But I am doubtful anyone has felt that from me…time to turn my life that direction.

Peace.
Jeremiah

From Catalyst
http://www.catalystspace.com/content/read/francis_chan/

Are You a Good Christ?
By Francis Chan
I think it's time we stop asking ourselves the question: "Am I a good Christian?" We live in a time when the term "Christian" has been so diluted that millions of immoral but nice people genuinely consider themselves "good Christians." We have reduced the idea of a good Christian to someone who believes in Jesus, loves his or her family, and attends church regularly. Others will label you a good Christian even though your life has no semblance to the way Christ spent His days on earth. Perhaps we should start asking the question: "Am I a good Christ?" In other words, do I look anything like Jesus? This question never even entered my mind until a friend of mine made a passing comment to me one day.
Dan is a long time friend of mine. In fact, he's the pastor who performed my wedding. He was talking to me about a pastor named Von. Von has been working with youth in the San Diego area for decades. Many of his students have gone on to become amazing missionaries and powerful servants of God. Dan described a trip to Tijuana, Mexico with Pastor Von. (Von has been ministering to the poor in the dumps of Tijuana for years). Dan didn't speak of the awful living conditions of those who made their homes amidst the rubbish. What impacted Dan the most was the relationship he saw between Von and the people of this community. He spoke of the compassion, sacrifice, and love that he witnessed in Von's words and actions as he held these malnourished and un-bathed children. Then he made the statement that sent me reeling:
"The day I spent with Von was the closest thing I've ever experienced to walking with Jesus."
Dan explained that the whole experience was so eerie because he kept thinking to himself: "If Jesus were still walking on earth in the flesh, this is what it would feel like to walk alongside of Him!" After that discussion, I kept wondering if anyone had ever said that about me-"The day I spent with Francis was the closest thing I've ever experienced to walking with Jesus." The answer was an obvious "no." Would any honest person say that about you?
What bothered me was not that I hadn't "arrived," but that I wasn't even heading in the right direction. I hadn't made it my goal to resemble Christ. I wasn't striving to become the kind of person who could be mistaken for Jesus Christ. Isn't it ironic that a man can be known as a successful pastor, speaker, and CHRISTian even if his life doesn't resemble Christ's?

1 John 2:6 "Whoever claims to live in him must walk as Jesus did."
When John made that statement, he wasn't speaking about how to be a church leader or even how to be a "good" Christian. He merely stated that anyone who calls himself Christian must live like Jesus did. So how did Jesus live? You could make a list of character traits to compare yourself to, but it would be far more beneficial to simply read through one of the Gospels. After you get a bird's-eye view of the life of Christ, do the same with your own. Are you comfortable with the similarities and differences?
It's easy to get caught up in the pursuit of "success" as American church-goers define it. The thought of being well-known and respected is alluring. There have been times when I've been caught up in the fun of popularity. I've even mistaken it for success. Biblically, however, success is when our lives parallel Christ's. Truth is, there are many good Christs that you'll never read about in a magazine. They are walking as Jesus walked, but they are too focused and humble to pursue their own recognition.
May we make it our goal to someday have someone say of us: "The day/hour/15 minutes I spent with ______ was the closest thing I've ever experienced to walking with Jesus."
As Christians in America, we often complain about how antagonistic people are toward Christ. Personally, I'm not sure that Americans are really rejecting Christ. Maybe they just haven't seen Him.
Try to be COMPLETELY honest with yourself right now. Is the following true of you?
You passionately love Jesus, but you don't really want to be like Him. You admire His humility, but you don't want to be THAT humble. You think it's beautiful that He washed the feet of the disciples, but that's not exactly the direction your life is headed. You're thankful He was spit upon and abused, but you would never let that happen to you. You praise Him for loving you enough to suffer during His whole time on earth, but you're going to do everything within your power to make sure you enjoy your time down here.
In short: You think He's a great Savior, but not a great role model.
The American church has abandoned the most simple and obvious truth of what it means to follow Jesus: You actually follow His pattern of life. I pray for those who read this article- that we don't become cynical or negative toward the church. Instead, let's make a personal decision to stop talking so much and begin living like Jesus. Then we can say as the apostle Paul, "Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ" (1 Corinthians 11:1). My guess is that you've never had someone say that to you, and you've never said it to anyone else. Why Not?

Francis Chan is the pastor of Cornerstone Church and the president of Eternity Bible College in Simi Valley. In addition to being a pastor, Francis speaks to thousands of youth throughout the U.S., challenging them to deeper commitment. He can be heard on his radio program "Truth Be Known." Francis has a great sense of humor, a genuine love for Christ, and a commitment to teach straight from the Word of God. Francis and his wife Lisa have been married for twelve years and have three daughters and one son: Rachel, mercy, Eliana, and Ezekiel. He is a graduate of the Master's College and Seminary.
Banner image from wickenden, used under the Creative Commons License.

I'm Old

2009-05-19T00:32:00.002-04:00

I haven't seen a walker in my hallway yet so maybe I have good friends still. Or maybe it will be there in the morning, i could use it some days! Thanks to all of you that have given or helped me mold the memories created in these thirty years of life. The 17 countries, the 41 states, the 10+ houses, the 30+ jobs, the girls... all of that has been a ride that has been the scariest and yet most exhilarating roller coaster ever.

Thanks all...

(I will be back to blogging and writing more consistently when my homework is done in Feb 2010)

Will it soak this up?

2009-03-31T01:51:00.000-04:00

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2009/0327092sham1.html

Seriously wiki "Vince Shamwow" and be amazed!

I'm old...rich slave masters

2009-03-21T18:51:00.003-04:00

I am writing this after ingesting another 3 Ibuprofen because my back popped/ went out/ spasmed out of control on Wednesday, when I grabbed my coffee cup. It felt like a rubber band popped and all I could do was grunt. It is has lead to OTC drug use and some difficulty staying in one position for more than 10 minutes.
It was doing well this morning, but I bent down to put in a DVD and it popped again. So it seems like a great time to update the world on the life of Jeremiah.

My body is shutting down…my finger somehow became infected and caused typing to become almost impossible. It also caused aches all over my body making me wonder if I had some staph infection. It is finally better. I have been fighting an “almost cold” for a couple weeks now. I feel like I have gone for 29 to 49 in a week. But am glad I have 2 months left before I leave the 20s.

Lately I have been crazy busy with work and school, but also am getting more involved with being social aware. The biggest role has been with Not for Sale Campaign. I am attempting to network with local churches to make them aware of the problem of human trafficking and modern slavery around the world. There are projects ongoing around the world, this country and this coast. We are attempting to start by slowing (and hopefully eventually stopping) trafficking and slavery (involuntary servitude) in Portland. For most that is simply not eating at restaurants with lawsuits against them or are being investigated. If they are settled, most are slowly appearing on the slavery map wiki. And in Portland it truly means avoiding and preventing the use of the many sex shops and clubs in Portland. For the supposed number of socially conscience Christians in Portland we also have the most per capita sex clubs in the country. Including cities were prostitution is legal (Las Vegas) and are much more heathen than Portland (I hear) like New York and San Francisco. I am not so sure only the non-churched of Portland are making those shops profitable.
Now I realize that it is impossible to know where all of our clothes, cleaners, food –coffee, chocolate, sugar and jewelry come from but we can attempt to research before we buy. Not for Sale just started a new website that is highlighting Free to Work companies and also those that have been recently raided. I implore you become socially responsible.

Perhaps, I am on this rant as well because of the movies I have watched lately.

There Will Be Blood and Blood Diamond both show the internal struggle of the human brain and more specifically profiles men who chose money over family. This makes me sad. I am scared that the truth in the movies is more prevalent than the people who would choose the family over the greed. This can be seen in our daily news, as we still pay athletes 60 million dollars, and don’t pay our teachers over a minimum livable income. As we buy name brand coffee because that keeps our economy strong, but wont offer to buy that beggar a sandwich because he just got a handful of change from the lady in front of us. We keep our money in our mattress even though inflation is slowly making it worthless, or in the bank where the bank is paying us less and less each month.

So this is my plea…don’t support slave masters and don’t let those on the street become slaves to have a meal. If you have a job you are lucky. If you have a savings plan, even luckier. And as I have said before…if you are reading this on a computer…you are rich!

The author is included in those remarks.

Step.

2009-02-23T14:01:00.001-05:00

Do Something

2009-01-02T22:28:00.002-05:00

Snow, Snow, Snow

2008-12-23T12:12:00.003-05:00

I generally like snow. It brings this purifying effect over everything. the world gets brighter in my opinion.
But then there is too much snow. Which in scientific terms is the amount that a city can not clear off roads so that city people like me can move. That's right I said i need to move, to the store for food, to work to make money for that food, and to the airport to go home for the holidays.
As i write this i should be at home for the holidays, sleeping. Instead i have struck a deal with my work and am working so i can stay later when i do get out of town.
The airport shut down for a period of time last night that included my flight. That is generally not a problem. The problem is it had been doing it for three days, causing people to be packed into the airport demanding the flight i might have gotten on.
So now I am left to dream of what life would be like without this white stuff ruining my plans.
I was doing good with it until I got into work and Outlook popped up "Vacation Time- overdue 9 hours"
Thanks for reminding me.

Merry CHRISTmas all.

If Prop 8 outlawed divorce

2008-12-08T21:36:00.001-05:00

Comment on this...

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

10 years

2008-12-01T09:55:00.002-05:00

That day has come again. Boy do I miss you Dad.

Pray NOW

2008-11-17T00:13:00.001-05:00

Received this from a friend today. I know Sharlene as well. I know she is amazing as well. We need to be praying for a miracle, for whats life's worth.

Dear friends,

I’m sending this email to you because I know of your great love and faith. It’s my prayer that we can come together to serve, love, and bless a dear friend in need.

I have a dear friend Sharlene who I met when we were both serving in YWAM Malaysia... Over the years I’ve returned to the States and she is now in South Africa but our friendship grew even stronger. She and I have become really close friends as we walked through early marriage together, becoming pregnant at the same time, giving birth only days apart, and raising our babies through the similar stages. I always admired her in Malaysia, but getting a closer glimpse into her heart has only heightened that fondness and admiration!

Well, she is pregnant now with a precious baby that doctors encourage her to abort. I will paste her email here so you can hear from her own words...

“ The scan at the doctor showed a serious problem with the baby. The condition is known as anencephaly, which means that the brain did not develop at all. Medically speaking, the baby will not survive, if he/she does, they would only live a few days at most. So of course the options are not very appealing...either termination, which most do, or carry to term, deliver the child and love them as long as G@d allows. Through 2 days of tears and prayer and desperation, we have made the decision to carry the baby and celebrate a life instead of mourn. Meanwhile, we know the reality of that choice is heart wrenching, but we have been touched by G@d in a powerful way, to battle in prayer with all our might and we feel his close presence and the comfort he promises in the valley of the shadow of death.

We cannot do this alone! Please help us to fight for this little life, to believe our G@d is good and is willing to heal. We believe this child has an eternal purpose, and no matter what the L@rd allows, we will bless His name and rejoice in Him....through tears, either of great joy, or the pain of our loss. We cannot know what G@d's ways and thoughts are now. But life reigns, it is unconquerable. Please tell people who you know love to pray, and let us know if you hear anything from the L@rd.”

My heart rejoices that my dear sweet friend and her husband have chosen to let God be the author of this child’s life and not to abort this child. They are my heroes! And I am so blessed by their faith and courage in such a difficult time! Like she said though, they cannot do this alone and they need our help... Ms. Sharlene, always the amazing mother and warrior, is starting a 24 hour prayer vigil for their child. We are wondering if you would join us. She’ll set a time slot for us to take and remember them in prayer every day. We are praying for a miracle for this family and for G@d’s glory to be made known!

Please email me if you would be able to take a time slot and pray for this family. I know it would mean so much!

Much love,
K

P.S. Please do have your churches, home groups, etc. praying for them as well...

GFA Christmas

2008-11-15T14:28:00.000-05:00

If you need to open something this christmas.

I don't remember

2008-11-01T00:15:00.001-04:00

Hi friends,

I just watched The God’s Aren’t Angry DVD, the Rob Bell tour from last year. It was pretty good until the end. And then it was awesome. He quoted Brennan Manning. and thanks to Google book search and the fact The Ragamuffin Gospel has been sitting on my shelf for too long I can quote you what impacted me.

P 115-116

Four years ago in a large city in the far West, rumors spread that a certain Catholic woman was having visions of Jesus. The reports reached the archbishop. He decided to check her out. There is always a fine line between authentic mystic and the lunatic fringe.

“ Is it true ma’am, that you have visions of Jesus?” asked the cleric.

“yes” the woman replied simply.

“Well the next time you have a vision, I want you to ask Jesus to tell you the sins that I confessed in my last confession.”

The woman was stunned. “did I hear you right, bishop? You actually want me to ask Jesus to tell me the sins of your past?”

“Exactly. Please call me if anything happens.”

Ten days later the woman notified her spiritual leader of a recent apparition. “Please come,” she said.

Within the hour the archbishop arrived. He trusted eye to eye contact. “you just told me on the telephone that you actually had a vision

of Jesus. Did you do what I asked?”

“yes bishop, I asked Jesus to tell me the sins you confessed in your last confession.”

The bishop leaned forward with anticipation. His eyes narrowed.

“what did Jesus say?”

She took his hand and gazed deep into his yes. “Bishop,” she said, “these are his exact words: I CAN’T REMEMBER”

I have been VERY synical as of late. I criticize and judge every word and thought that has come my way lately. So when I heard this I thought it was controversial, but true. Then it hit me, like a pound of bricks to the chest.

THAT’S ME TOO!!!

All that @$#$ I have been doing and that failure and that rejection of God I have intentionally precipitated lately, Jesus and God don’t hold that over me. I am not sure if they even care. They don’t remember it forever though. That is Biblical, no?

Rob Bell finished with multiple phrases that wrapped up his stories, many repeated….the phrases are pretty good and will be put on ym handheld as an encouragement especially as the rain is coming and I am trying to go a winter without depression. Here they are…

“You are the first person to ever trust me like that”

“As he leaned down and kissed her crooked mouth, with a smile on his face he said ‘I love it’”

“As they handed her the keys, they asked ‘Would you like a tour?’”

“I had the privilege to say, ‘You don’t disappoint me’”

As the van pulled away nearly dragging on the road.

Go rent or buy this talk and be blessed! How’s that for a review?

Christmas Gifts

2008-10-29T01:51:00.004-04:00

Hi Friends,
I have been meaning to write about something serious to me. Christmas gifts. Many times we receive things we don’t need if not don’t even like. Don’t believe me? Check out Target or Wal-Mart or American Apparel on December 26th or 27th.

I will be sad when I don’t get to open a new book that will sit on my shelf, but that money will be much more use to an Asian family that gets a chicken that provides eggs and meat, a group that will receive fresh clean water from Living Waters Int’l or someone local a few meals and a tent to sleep in until they get their minimum wage job back.

Here are my three suggestions...

http://www.adventconspiracy.org/

Your money is transformed into a social service project that will give some one water, clothes or an education. Mt Barkley in Liberia has reported that the water crisis in their village is SOLVED. WHAT? Yes with the money that would have filled shelves with improper gifts gave an entire village fresh, clean drinking water. In full disclosure it is my church and pastor that started it, although I started supporting it before I moved here.

http://www.gfa.org/gift

GFA gives you the chance to give someone a gift they can use for years. 100% of your gift goes to a person or family in Asia. One of my family members received a note that the cash I would have spent on them bought one family a breeding pair of rabbits and another a pair of chickens. Tell me that is not better than an ugly tie or book that will sit on the shelf.

http://sweetsarahdesigns.com/main.sc

Gives useful, beautiful cards and invitations to those who can use them. It also benefits my niece so that is as good as it gets. I believe in supporting local companies and SSD is as local as it gets.

I am attempting to do my part, are you doing yours? ("you will feel guilt" said the advertiser)

Jeremiah

Late Nigth Politics

2008-10-23T03:07:00.003-04:00

I am just a wee bit fired up and can not sleep. I am fired up because I just read a couple places in emails that the vote I just cast for the next president is going to bring the wrath of God more on this nation. I will not waste time explain the hypocrisy in that statement besides saying you better watch for the wrath if you claim to know God that well. The reason they use is one word…Abortion.

Abortion most people will agree is wrong in that killing is wrong although that definition is extended to different times in the life of a baby (fetus is too nice). Murder is wrong whether it is of a baby, of a potentially innocent inmate, a civilian in a country at war or for financial gain (people and animals for oil or diamonds). Most religious people would be more opinionated about that, no matter their religion. If we are going to outlaw anything, that thing should be Planned Parenthood.

The issue I have is with voters who use that one word to vote (or any single word, for that matter). I want to ask those voters if they know anyone who has had to make the abortion decision. I have to say I am not surrounded by those ladies, but have met a couple in my life. All three said it was a choice based on finances and/ or age. They DID NOT HAVE MONEY TO RAISE THE CHILD. And in the other cases I have heard word of mouth it was a parenting issue. Parents need to be involved and open with their kids. How about we change the home not the law? Have we forgotten McCain and the right wing have a slim change to overturn Roe v Wade? And who believes that it will not be appealed immediately, the motion stopped in the courts, state rights getting involved and an entire mess and waste of government money being used. Plus overturning that law is not going to stop killings of children or prevent the poverty that causes that choice. We can all see the effects of laws on drugs, prostitution and theft!!!

I fail to understand how outlawing something is going to stop it. While I see the ability to provide healthcare, better living conditions and opportunities to those who have to choose to have an abortion. What if we provided free prenatal, delivery, and post natal care to ALL women who need it? What if the government supported and helped young teenagers that were thinking of making the life or death choice? What if some corporate loopholes were closed and the richest of the richest were actually to give some of their money to helping others? (Many are generous; a lot more are greedy and corrupt)

In McCain I see the ability to kill more cultures overseas (Iran, North Korea, Russia, China). I see the ability to continue to be raped by the corporations and their greedily wealthy CEOs. I see the ability to continue to have high healthcare rates, a couple freedoms overturned and very few tangible differences from where we are today. I see further splits in foreign affairs and between extreme conservatives and those searching for love and acceptance. (How is killing babies wrong but killing in prisons and overseas ok?) I see our national debt getting out of control and China owning my children in a VERY extreme case.

In Obama I see a future of reformed healthcare, government programs for the people that need it, and the ability for honest discussion about foreign relations and religious freedom. (Religious freedom means every religion can be practiced freely or did we forget that is what the founding fathers desired) And no the founding fathers did not make this country to be a theocracy. READ YOUR HISTORY BOOKS!!!! I think we need government support for those struggling, and it will only happen one way.

So abortion stays legal but the numbers decrease because parents talk to kids and support them, medical care is provided for more women (and teens) and because moderate religion comes back into the main stream instead of fundamentalists who see the world in black and white instead of the HD that is available.

Isn’t it ironic that in the years we have been ruled by a “freedom based” system we are more scared to travel overseas, more likely to be wiretapped and more likely to be judgmental of others? Isn’t it ironic that the same people that support the death penalty oppose abortion? Or on the other side the same people that support abortion oppose killing an animal or tree?

You will notice I didn’t mention in this that the American church needs to get off it’s ass, shut down a couple prayer meetings and actually use their hands, feet, ears and mouths to do something about the problems they see and hear about on Fox news.

And you’re right; I only endorsed and voted for Obama because I am black.

These are the late night opinions and words of the author only. It does not reflect any ministries, clubs or churches he is a part of. and yes, he is a relapsing hypocrite.

The Story of the Gravy Chip

2008-10-16T13:36:00.002-04:00

Once upon a time two men had a dream. They found out they could put any flavour on a potato chip. These two men are Hamish Blake and Andy Lee better know to Australians worldwide as Hamish and Andy. They held a contest for the People's Chip flavour - Bacon and Eggs, Pork Dumpling, Beer, Souvlaki or Kebab, Gravy, and Fruit Salad were the six finalists. AND GRAVY WON. And not just any gravy, beef roast gravy!!!!

Smiths Chip company (owned by PepsiCo) produced 500 test bags. They were gone in 5 minutes around the country of Aus. People waited out overnight and were sent home empty handed. So they made 60,000 full size bags and they were gone in 5 hours. Again some people missed out. Smiths realized they had a golden goose and produced a lot to be in stores for another test period. This time they lasted less than two weeks.

One man had a dream. A man named Jeremiah addicted to podcasts of Hamish and Andy dreamed of tasting the people’s chip. One night he wrote the 6 Aussies he knew and got back one response. He asked that once they hit the stores a couple bags would be sent to his home in Portland. He soon found out they had come and gone from the stores. One night as he listened to a week old HnA he heard his hero Hamish say that the chips were out and they were not sure if Smiths would make more. He was crushed, like the flavour of gravy on a chip.

But wait there was another route….a modern technological dream maker called eBay. Since the stores were sold out, he made a brave move. 2 hours after he should have been in bed, he was on his computer and found a BOX of gravy chips for sale. For some reason he entered a VERY large number and confirmed it….He knew previous boxes had gone for over $60AUS. So he went 20% more and WON!!!! Although not paying quite that amount.

JEREMIAH WON GRAVY CHIPS….

But there was another problem. The chips were in Brisbane. His contact was in Perth and traveling. The eBay seller would not send to the US just Aus. Through what can only be described by as a GobbleDoc miracle his contact was traveling to her family’s house in Brisbane. He was able to send the chips mere miles up the road so the bags would not be exploded by a plane’s pressurized cabin.

A week or so later he received the email….his contact was in Brisbane and the chips were safe and sound. All he had to provide was his address and they would be his!!!

But then the government stepped in….

An email came and the first trip to the post office was a failure. The chips needed a USDA Customs code to enter the free-est of free countries- USA!! The dream felt like it might be crushed.

Another late night, Jeremiah figured out how to bring the people’s chip to Portland. Thanks to Google he learned all the facts about his box and filled out the confusing governmental form. He had a code and sent the code to the contact.

The package was sent and a weekend was spent tracking the GRAVY CHIPS…For three days the chips were tracked on their move from a local post office to the Brisbane Postal Center. The package kept saying it was stuck in Brisbane waiting to be accepted in the USA.

Jeremiah was wondering if chips could be sent overseas. He should have checked this out earlier. the dream might become a nightmare, a very expensive failure of a nightmare.

Tuesday, Jeremiah’s house received a signature needed card from USPS. He thought it was a notice from the USDA saying they were not allowing The People’s Chip into the country. Stupid imigration. He was contemplating traveling to Australia for his chips.

Wednesday, as he left work early because of sickness he stopped by the post office to get the signature required letter. When he presented the card to the worker a BOX was brought back. A BOX SHAPED LIKE A GRAVY CHIP BOX.

Due to the sickness, it did not immediately register that Gravy chips were in the box. Jeremiah stood up on his tip toes to see the top of the box, as he didn’t recognize what he could have received. The worker told him to hold on and he would turn it around. When the box was turned around it said “AUSTRALIA POST” and Description was “Private” “Chips”.

THE GRAVY CHIPS ARRIVED. THE GRAVY CHIPS ARRIVED.

Upon exiting the Post Office Jeremiah did a white man’s jig to the bus, and then to his house carrying a box of 18 100g packets of the People’s Chip.

When inside the house, pictures were taken of the smiling Jeremiah and his chips. He tasted the chip and knew there was a God. Because only God could have created something this delicious and amazing. And only God can make dreams liek this come true.

Fast Forward to this Saturday…

If you are in the Portland area you are invited to the Gravy Chip party. Please reply for more info.

Party this Saturday, October 18, 2008

7pm to 9pm

Aussie Burgers* and Gravy Chips provided....

Please bring bevies and side-ys....adult bevies preferred

Please RSVP to ensure burger with your name on it.

* All beef patty, beet root and onion.

Suggested Donation $5....but don't let money stop you from this party.

Jeremiah

Only in Portland

2008-10-08T00:00:00.001-04:00

The first I heard when I walked off the buss the other morning was this...

“All I am saying is in relation to the solar system, the sun is perpetually stationary.”

“Alright, honey, we will discuss this after work”

I proceeded to stand at the corner while the light turned white and then the red hand started flashing, in shock of the most random thing I had heard. And then I smiled because that really only happens in Portland.

Friends,

I am doing well. I am now a fulfillment specialist with a Business Publishing company that helps valuate and improve your business. It is quite nice actually as I get to package things and move around a lot. It is generally not the most intellectually stimulating but it is good money and occasionally challenging.

I just finished my second class of the 18^th month program for my BS degree in HD. It was incredibly difficult and stressful, which has led me to become sick and learn a few new procrastination techniques.

Speaking of which I am sick and tired literally. So good day!

Jeremiah

Situation

2008-08-29T01:21:00.003-04:00

Friends,
What is crackilatin'?
So I have spent the last 2 hours or so reading blogs and articles and surprisingly it has given me the desire to write. I don’t have that desire much anymore. I have read at least four about people that were given amazing opportunities to do awesome things.
It makes me think, again, about the fact I simply don’t notice these opportunities. I say notice because I assume that if I don’t other people will say that I miss them. Like Malaysia- found that. Skydiving- found that. AT- found that. I am more talking about opportunities that I am handed. Like will you speak here? Or will you meet this guy. Or will you teach here… I am wondering how to get connected to people that will grow me.

I came to the realization a few months ago that 10 years ago Rick McKinley, Marc Driskell, and Don Miller were just dudes with dreams of reaching people. Now two of them lead the "coolest" churches in two under churched cities. And the other just prayed at the DNC. So basically I need to make or get visionary friends right? Well they don’t want to be friends with a dude that in the last few weeks has been called “human Valium”, a “grumpy little rain cloud” and “a bumblebee”. Well the bumblebee was just about the weight issue.

Which again shows that I am not ready for primetime. So I should just concentrate on school right? and then dream later?

I am beginning to realize with the help of a paid counselor that I have a bad outlook on life. I don’t invest in people because they will die, possibly in front of me, or they will reject me. I don’t take risks because that involves taking risks. But then I do take a risk and fail and I am back to fear of risks. I risked going to a counselor and I am not healed. I risked talking to a girl, for 3 years, and now I am back where I started. I risked moving and it took 8 months for any tangible good to come…I have contacted 3 authors for a drink in the last 6 months with the results being one no and two silences. My first article submitted was published online, the subsequent 16 weren't. I have attempted to get gravy chips with impending failure if I won’t pay 100+USD.

So one of you happy, “all- the- world- is- bright- colours- and- snuggly soft” people give me a suggestion how I am supposed to see the good in failure, loss, rejection, failure, failure, failure…what have I succeeded at? I have 2k in debt from a trip to reconcile a relationship that has since failed. I have a job that is with a great company but uses nothing in my toolbox and keeps changing description. Oh and I think I have a heart issue as I go into a fast I might not be able to start.

Suggestions? Comments? Rejections?

Righteous Anger ?!?

2008-08-23T01:33:00.003-04:00

Christians piss me off. I should say “Christians”.

I just returned from being around a group of multiple 10,000s of people on the waterfront in downtown. It was fun for a while. We didn’t have the best spot honestly but it worked. I was watching Luis Palau speak after Kirk Franklin had just finished a set. Kirk had brought the Jesus of a black Gospel church to the waterfront of Portland, which is not too easy. I loved the set and was getting into Luis’s message about our need for a father that hasn’t failed us (something I need to hear honestly) when I hear this little girl (well like 14 or 21) scream “Please stop #$E@# pushing me!” I was a little shocked at the language at such volume but because of our location I wasn’t surprised. We were on the edge of a walk way which at a festival is anywhere! But this large man was shoving her as she was trying to move forward. That was bad but what was worse was his wife became very upset by this and was threatening her more vulgarly. She was pushing her and shoving her kids into the girl now.

This is when I stepped in and told both of them to chill….no, seriously I opened my mouth and words would not come out. I was frozen in speech and action. I was pissed in my head because in one of the least churched areas in the country or the region or the city...or whatever in the midst of a powerful sermon this lady wants to fight. I doubt the young lady was there for Kirk Franklin, although she might have been. I judge the young black family as church goers and judging by their shirts maybe even elders. Is this what Kirk had just talked about when he told us to find someone that doesn’t look like us- a Shaquita or a Cooper— and tell them, “God loves you, and I love you”? Or was it when he said we should say “bye- bye” to every worry.

The young white gal backed down. And allowed herself to be pushed around, while all these white Christians watched. What if this is the first time she came to see what this Jesus was all about and then was disappointed when no one spoke to her and then pushed her constantly? Is this what she needs to know about Jesus? Is this the event she is going to point to in 40 years when she tries one more time to walk into a church and be accepted for who she is? Will she be able to feel God’s love again? And worse yet is she going to blame race for this one lady and man that were what she called them?

I could not pay attention to the message for about 10 minutes because of these questions. I could not speak up either, which is fairly normal but very disconcerting to not feel in control.

After this incident people kept pushing through the line. Some claimed claustrophobia, some looked lost, and others were just being assholes. I realized that I was bothered because I wished more people believed like me. Not that Jesus’ blood washes away my sins, but that I am no better than anyone else. I was there because friends encouraged me to go. I knew it was going to be packed. I knew it was today because there were signs ALL over town for the last month plus. I had little sympathy for those who ignored the signs and didn’t take a detour. I did have sympathy for those who were coming to check things out only to be surprised by the “Christians” who thought by being washed by the Lamb’s blood they were allowed to sin again. I had a lot of sympathy for those whose job it was to help work the event –EMT, Police, cart drivers— and were being disregarded instead of embraced.

To close, it was a huge lesson to me, that I don't fully understand. As I left I gave the Street Roots seller the second largest bill in my wallet and more than 5x normal. But 5 minutes later, I realized I should have asked if anyone of the thousands of people that passed had offered to pray for him.

So Elousia, I ask that You lift my brother up tonight. Allow him to grow closer to Your freedom. I pray that people will treat him like You would- to the least of these. May the vendors give a free water or two. May You heal any hurts he has and as he is standing right behind the stage where Your word and praise for You is being presented, that he would fall in love all over again with You.

AMEN.

Now I am going to try to sleep but not be able to probably.

Because i complained!!!

2008-05-30T22:08:00.001-04:00

So I almost went to BK today with a coworker and was quite sad when he suggested it because i could not let myself give them money after the slavery i heard about at their tomato farms. Then i come home to this. I will not go out and get a whopper but maybe in a month if the craving strikes i could go.
Peace.

Dear Jeremiah,

Congratulations – we did it! The Coalition of Immokalee Workers (CIW) announced Friday that, after a prolonged and often heated campaign, the second-largest burger chain has agreed to pay farm workers an extra 1.5 cents per pound of tomatoes picked, the equivalent of a 71 percent increase in wages. Watch the press conference on Capitol Hill.

This agreement was reached after a large coalition of faith and labor groups, including Sojourners, started targeting the company with letters and boycotts. In fact, since last June more than 25,000 Sojourners activists like you sent more than 125,000 letters to Burger King executives.

Burger King is the last of the three largest fast-food companies to agree to the pay increase, following McDonald’s and Yum Brands, which owns Taco Bell. The agreement also includes a pledge that Burger King will have zero tolerance for growers in its supply chain that act unlawfully – a good precaution, given that some in south Florida have been indicted for holding tomato pickers in literal slavery.

Burger King’s agreement is a long-awaited victory that comes after a year in which they unconscionably stalled and obstructed other companies from coming on board. Burger King made $2.23 billion in profits in 2007 – and, in the end, the company estimated that its tomato justice agreement will cost just $300,000 annually.

This agreement is a step toward fair labor practices for farm workers across our country, and an example to all companies that have exploitative policies in need of change.

Thank you for your action! Citizen advocacy makes a difference.

In gratitude,

Elizabeth, Kaitlin, Kevin, and the rest of the team at Sojourners

What I read

2008-05-24T21:44:00.003-04:00

So I read a lot of junk online. Some things tend to be good occasionally. Here are a couple. The first from VERY conservative Chuck Colson’s ministry about TWLOHA which is AWESOME! And the second— a true sign of success for a cool dude. I think it is crazy that they almost connect.

Writing Love on Their Arms
Helping Those Who Feel Helpless

May 9, 2008

Note: This commentary was delivered by PFM President Mark Earley.

Warning: The following commentary addresses a sensitive issue that may not be suitable for young children.

It is not unusual for people to lash out at others to release pent-up anger and hopelessness. At Prison Fellowship, we have seen this over and over again, with prisoners who resort to violence as a way of dealing with abuse, loneliness, and fear. But there is another way that people respond to these feelings—they take it out on themselves.

Today, between two and three million Americans resort to self-injury as an emotional and physical response to negative feelings. Self-injury includes everything from cutting oneself, burning oneself, to even pulling hair. It can be life-threatening, and it always points to a deeper issue.

Recently on "BreakPoint," we talked about a movie called Wristcutters that attempted to normalize suicide—if not even glamorize it. While suicide is utter despair and self-injury is a coping mechanism, they are both external expressions of hopelessness. To present either of these self-harming behaviors in a flippant manner is despicable, to say the least.

Obviously, Hollywood has plenty to say to those who take a razor to their wrist. But what are Christians saying? One group of young people from Orlando does not need to say much—their love speaks for them.

Several years ago, when 19-year-old Renee Yohe turned to cocaine and razor blades in an effort to deal with a lifetime of sexual abuse, depression, and suicide attempts, her friends stepped in. A rehab center had deemed Renee too great a risk to be admitted immediately, so her friends stuck by her side for five days straight. They bought her drinks from Starbucks, took her to concerts, reminded her that she was beautiful. On the last night before she was allowed to enter rehab, they gave her gifts, hugged her, prayed for her. In response to their love, she handed them her last razor blade. It was her symbol of pain.

The experience with Renee led one of the friends, Jamie Tworkowski, to start an organization called To Write Love on Her Arms to offer hope to people, like Renee, who are dealing with depression, self-injury, and suicide. The group has rallied the support of bands like Switchfoot with the simple message to love the brokenhearted.

Jamie writes on his website: "We are only asked to love, to offer hope to the many hopeless. We don't get to choose all the endings, but we are asked to play the rescuers. We won't solve all the mysteries and our hearts will certainly break in such a vulnerable life, but it is the best way."

Jamie and his friends have refused to buy into the culture's downplaying or even glamorizing of self-destructive behavior. Instead, they are shining examples of the love of Jesus—a countercultural love that refuses to stand on the sidelines. As for Renee, thanks to the loving intervention of her friends, she has been clean from drugs for two years!

With two to three million people in this country engaging in self-injury, there is a good chance you know of someone caught in a cycle of despair. Are you ready to step in? Maybe God is preparing to send you, in the words of Isaiah 61, to "bind up the brokenhearted."

Visit our website at BreakPoint.org to find out more, along with links to organizations that can offer guidance and help.

Is That Jesus in the Next Port-o-Let?

05/06/2008

By Al Speegle, Jr.

The Door has obtained a draft excerpt of Donald Miller's next book, Bark Like a Scab. Miller is, of course, the Portland-based post-modern "emergent church" chronicler of spiritual odysseys and really groovy personal responses to the nature of God and Jesus. When we got this priceless little portion of Bark Like a Scab, we knew somehow that Donald had produced his best work since Blue Like Jazz and had achieved yet another giant leap in his conscious effort to "hold our palms against the wound." But then the manuscript speaks for itself. Shhhh. Listen.

Bark Like a Scab

A tree’s bark grows slowly
through the winters and summers of its life,
each layer has a story unto itself.

I was at the park desperately hitting on God for some answers. They didn’t come.
I lay down, uncomfortable until I pulled some rocks from under my back. I looked up through the tree limbs to the clouds moving quickly across the blue sky. I hadn’t noticed the breeze until I saw the limbs swaying in a tempo conducted by the wind.

Was it Jonah, desperate for an answer as to why he was going through the mess in his life after doing what God had wanted him to? A vine grew over his head, giving him shade from the sun, only to have a worm, a tiny worm in a big world doing what he was destined to do, eat away Jonah’s only comfort.

I picked up a dry branch that had fallen probably years ago. I needed something to do to take my mind off my troubles. Peeling the bark, I wondered if I was trying to hurt something else like I had with so many people. It beat cutting myself like my friend Anne does. Still that thought crossed my mind, the cutting. So here I am, peeling the bark like a scab on a wound reminding me of a friend’s wife now bald before her third chemo.

I pried back a piece of the bark with my thumb, exposing the generations of life it once lived. It was nothing now. Its death and decay, like leaves, would provide nutrients for the tree that gave it birth. Or maybe a feast for the bugs. Whatever, it had lived its purpose, so now what?

That was my life.

I needed to pee. Badly. I looked around. Was I far enough from the street so no one would see?

Surely as soon as I’d unzip my pants a woman police officer would drive up and arrest me for indecent exposure.

Sin and guilt are like that. You want to, but you don’t want to.

I got in my car, drove around to find someplace more private. The other side of the park maybe. Then I saw them. Two Port-o-Lets. Safe, secure. A blessing like Jonah’s vine.

Finally, relief. A load off my mind.

From inside I heard a car pull up, stop. The worm/policewoman here to question my existence? I could hear the other stall door open, the liquid drain from a life’s bladder flowing down into the reservoir of waste. Maybe if I waited long enough they’d finish and leave. She did.

Back into my car, back to my place among the trees, my pen, people who drove by never noticed me sitting here writing.

Jesus did. He knew my hurt … my fears … my doubts. And he loves me anyway. He never drove by without waving.

http://www.wittenburgdoor.com/jesus-in-the-next-port-o-let

Saya takut untuk orang putih

2008-05-09T00:51:00.001-04:00

Hello friends,

In case you did not know, I was in Malaysia or traveling for the last 3 weeks. Yep, I hopped a plane to a tropical island and took a vacation from a life I was doing very little in.

There were a lot of highlights but here are some of the best.

- When I arrived at the airport in Malaysia I was treated to a taste of what I left beyond. I had to help push start the friend’s car that would take me to the bus station. And to think I was worried I would not be able to keep up my workouts out of town.

- While I was in Ipoh I met a girl (no not that one) with one of the funniest names ever. I am pretty sure she won't find this blog, so I will make fun of her. Her name was Carrot- like the vegetable. Her sister was named Po-ta-to. Luckily I found out that is not her given name-like in official documents- but just a nickname. Her english name was Carol- which is also ironic since she is not 50 or 60.

- I had a deep revelation one of those nights that even though the fan was moving the air it was not cooling in any way, until I placed the fan about 6 inches from my sweat dampened skin. Then it made a slight difference. Like adding a piece of duct tape to a sinking ship- it just doesn’t make that much difference.

- I read a good bit… here’s a quote I don’t know if I agree with, but makes me think… “If we have ever hated anyone, we have espoused the same attitude that motivated Hitler.” The Father Heart of God. Floyd McClung Jr.

- I attempted to complete the food marathon of Penang…instead I made it only a few (14) hours and threw in the flag after the char siew poh just tasted like white bread. The food marathon tasted different in my dreams, in my head. I quit 14 or so hours in, partially because we didn’t start until about 6 hours of being awake. There were a couple more 5 K races in the days afterwards to attempt to finish the race course, however.

- On the food marathon I had two deep revelations…Jesus would have eaten his Subway with Tandoori, and Breakfast roti tastes a little bit like angels would taste. And also cows don’t have pants.

- I listened to many podcasts as well…some were from my church classes I was missing…they played a promotional clip of a new book in which the author says “I believe in God. It’s been a real problem for me.” I concur. Here’s the link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNqrL6Iboks. I don’t recommend any other sites that might be in the side bar, or really the second video. Actually if you are a grown male, you might find it quite funny. the book is named A Foreskin’s Lament. Which will most likely make my own blog end up on my x3watch list now.

- Spiritually the trip was actually really good for me. While discussing my faith with a couple people I realized that at this very moment God has not placed a call of foreign missions on me. Instead he has taken me into the desert to suck the life out of me. Actually more like my false vision of life, but he needs to take out the crap to have space to give me the real life he desires for me. Or some crap like that. I am assuming the promised land of Milo and susu manis is coming. And career, and marriage and stability are coming too?

- While reading another book, I realized I made the conscious decision, kind of subconsciously also, to bitch about my life in slavery being better than my desert journey, like the Israelites. When I was a willing slave to sin, at least I enjoyed my days, I had something to do, and now God has me in the middle of this hot, dry lonely place. I wished I could go back. And I did in some ways by spending hours reading about nothing online, playing pointless arcade games made for 8-year olds, and sleeping 14 hours a day, among other things. That's where i am at...in the desert (being purified) remembering the good days of sin slavery.

- On the plane home, I came to a conclusion. I will regret this statement in a few months, I am sure, but I feel like if my life is an example of how God treats his children after they fully devote themselves to Him…I wouldn’t try to convince anyone to follow him fully. If unexplained death, unemployment, extreme boredom, deepened loneliness, and secondly struggles with sin are really what a follower goes through, I don’t want others to suffer like this. This is not a deepened experience found in the sermons of most preachers. That warm fuzzy teddy bear God experience doesn’t stay that way all your life. Sometimes walking with God is a hard, steep, rocky trail. Which was the original point of this blog.

- Wow that was deep, BEAVER IN A SUIT!!!

- I found it ironic that I flew over Da Nang on my route home.

- The Taipei airport I was in on the way home was completely different than the one I passed through on the way there. Although they were the same airport, one had nothing to do and the other had a terminal full of restaurants, free (slow) internet, and museum thingies.

It was a good trip with good friends eating good food in a good place. I am much better mentally although I was still called Eeyore on the phone today. Ho Hum, life is hard!

God bless us, everyone.

PS. I have no plans of dying soon

Dua Jam

2008-04-22T22:41:00.002-04:00

Hello friends,
So this has been a good but sometime interesting trip. A lot of talking with 3 people in perticular so far. There were jokes swirling in Ipoh that i was going to marry a vietnamese gal i just met spontaneously. If they only knew the full true story.
I was asked to speak at a church service with a Ugandan pastor, then didnt feel the peace of the spirit and he did not appreciate that. I have told many people of the evils of the prosperity gospel as it seems to have grown in the year i was away. I do not feel wrong in my views and opinions but do not feel like i should talk religiosity matters in my current cynical state either.
I have read many books already. Not finished any, just started many.
Here is a snippit i enjoyed from a book, it has taken me 4 plus years to admit i need to read and experience.
"Jesus Chriust is the wounded healer. he knows how our emotions can be injured...His very birth was questioned, and His mother's reputation was slandered. He was born in poverty. His race was ostracized and His hometown ridiculed. His father died when he was young and in His latter years Jesus traveled the cites and streets homeless. He was misunderstood in His ministry, and abandoned in death. He did all this for you and me." p 40-41, The Fatherheart of God by Floyd McClung, Jr.

Also here is something you prosperity pastors and followers should read and defend.
http://www.trinityfi.org/
http://ministrywatch.com/mw2.1/H_Home.asp - you can type in any ministry and it will give you a report on the one's it has been able to investigate.

This is the about Benny Hinn, who some may say is the leader of the prosperity movement.
http://ministrywatch.com/mw2.1/F_SumRpt.asp?EIN=591245704
http://youtube.com/watch?v=FUyPjeIFKug

and to be fair and balanced here is a report on the reporters:
http://www.philcooke.com/wallwatchers
although i read the article in charisma he wrote which (no joke) was placed between ads for Paula White and Joyce Meyers "revivals".

ok i have wasted long enough.

Satu Jam

2008-04-19T05:29:00.002-04:00

Hi friend,
I have started thinking and speak in short sentence again. so to join me here's my blog post, lah

SO what did you do today?
well i ate the best dim sum ever, then took a nap, and then told people the evils of the prosperity gospel, ate some nasi goreng ayam pattaya at Tesco and am now writing you all.
What was yesterday like?
8 hours of the hardest most confusing words of my life with mee jawa, banana leaf, milo, claypot chicken rice and char koay teow with a couple white coffees mixed in.
Do you regret spending money you dont have?
N to the O
DO you feel broken, tired, confused and uncertian?
yes
How long did it take to eat your first roti telur?
30 minutes from the plane
first teh tarik?
30 minutes from last bus
did you meet a girl named carrot?
well yes i did!
what might be her sister's name?
Potato!
Does she find it funny?
no
Do you?
well, yes in fact i do.
How was it explained?
her mother likes vegetable (with Vn accent)

Is the heat hot?

well, yes it is

Are you tired and finally feelign jet lag?
yes

Update

2008-04-15T03:16:00.002-04:00

Hi friends
I will be in Malaysia until the 4th of May. Thought i would let you know. i am available by email for those who want to know how i am really doing, or can call me in may.
peace.
j

http://blog.beliefnet.com/godspolitics/2008/03/i-never-saw-them-as-human-bein.html

2008-04-08T19:37:00.001-04:00

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

'I Never Saw Them as Human Beings' (by Omar Al-Rikabi)

A couple of weeks before the Thanksgiving holiday, I received a call from my cousin. Her father-in-law in Baghdad was dead. His death was not the result a car bomb or a kidnapping. No bullets or beheadings were involved. Instead, it was a kitchen fire. He was badly burnt up and down his legs. They took him to the hospital … but there were no doctors who could help or medicine they could give him. He was killed by a treatable infection.

"What is it about this month?" my cousin asked. Only an exact year ago her brother had been shot to death in front of his house in a Baghdad neighborhood, forcing a new widow and her children to flee to Jordan.

A few weeks later I shared this story with another Iraqi living in Amman. "This is the way it has been for a while," she said. "After the first war, with the embargo, things were slowly getting worse. No medicine. No services. We were losing hope. But we never saw this second war coming. This destroyed it all. Now, there is no hope."

Over the last five years, as I have shared my family's story in churches and chapel services, I get a very common response: "I never saw them as human beings. I never thought to pray for the Iraqi people." This disturbs me. Even more disturbing is that many of the people who confess this to me are pastors and missionaries. They champion the need for food, plumbing, and medicine in so many parts of the world, but seem to hit the breaks when it comes to Iraq and the Middle East. I have visited many congregations around the country – Catholic, Methodist, Baptist, Episcopal, Non-denominational – and I see a recurring pattern: nine times out of 10 the pastor will pray for the safety and success of the troops, but does not offer one prayer for the people and needs of Iraq.

While in Amman last month, I spent time with my two little cousins who now live as orphans and refugees. A family member shared that one of the girls has recurring dreams of her dead father, and is brewing with sadness and anger over his murder. A week later I sat in a church service in the States where the text in the bulletin was James 1:27: "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world" (NIV). The "pastoral prayer" turned toward the troops, gay marriage and abortion, but there was not one mention of the 2 million internally displaced Iraqis, 82 percent of whom are women and children under the age of 12 (according to the Iraqi Red Crescent report of January 27, 2008). What a sad irony that the same church that so adamantly supports the "right to life" also supported a war that has robbed so many children of their lives and innocence.

In reality, Iraq has been bleeding to death for more than 15 years. Beautiful people, made in the image of God, have lived with violence and destruction for too long. The church in the U.S has played a major role in supporting that destruction. I have very few positive answers for my Muslim family members when they ask about how Christians in the U.S. perceive Iraq. Once, when I told a family member of some Christians I had met who support and work for human rights in Iraq and equal rights for Palestinians, he responded, "Wow. … I didn't know there were any other Christians who believed that way."

In the first chapter of Nehemiah we find this prayer: "I confess that we have sinned against you. Yes, even my own family and I have sinned!" The key word here is "we." Nehemiah was not even alive when the people's sins, which led to exile, took place. Yet he took ownership of what the people of God had done wrong, and so led the way in confession, repentance, and ultimately, restoration.

How long before more pastors lead their congregations in confession, repentance, and prayers for the people and peace of Iraq? How long before more preachers preach that the life of an Iraqi is just as important to God as the life of a U.S. soldier? How long before we ask our congregations to see Iraqis as part of the human family, made in the very image of God, and in doing so broaden our definition of "family values?" How long before the church truly stands up to vote for a "right to life" for all children that goes beyond the unborn to include the children of those who we thought were our enemies?

I have been in worship services all over the country, and I still see too many churches that rallied for the call to war in Iraq failing to rally for the call of Christ in Iraq.

Rev. Omar Hamid Al-Rikabi is a campus minister at the University of Arkansas Wesley Foundation. He is the son of a Muslim father from Iraq and a Christian mother from Texas. He shares his stories on his blog at www.firstbornstories.com

Pictures!!!!

2008-03-29T02:12:00.000-04:00

http://picasaweb.google.com/joeyknuckles/RT08GaToPortlandHQ

Good Grief Charlie Chan

2008-03-26T02:59:00.002-04:00

I don’t grieve well…actually I take that back. I don’t grieve, at all. As I sat at a kitchen table with a fairly new friend who lost his first born son, only an hour after birth, I was mad at God. He explained how he saw joy in the situation and praised God for the support him, his wife and their less than 2 year old daughter had received. I didn’t hear the rest because I thought of how that would affect me. I would need a lot of changes in my faith, my strength and my worldview to say the things he was. I was also thinking of how another friend just lost her fiancée, again last week. Again he was a new friend that I may see in heaven.* I felt bad I would never get to try the best pancakes in Portland with him. I remembered the loss I felt when my own father died. I remembered the feelings I occasionally have about the last days of Jesus, a passage we just read, and I thought about death. I wondered how if Jesus conquered death and the grave, why it impacts our lives so much.

You will notice that I did not say I thought about grief.

Instead of grieving, I often think of what heaven will be like. I think about the atheists and anti-theists that don’t believe in an after life. I also think about Paul’s writing that we (those who believe) would be the worst off if this (the Christian life) is not true. I think of that knowing full well I wouldn’t have a goal in life, a desire of heart, a passion of any kind if not for God. And if I did not have those I would not have a life, in my opinion. I actually envy people that can live without thinking about heavenly/ spiritual things. My faith is part of me and wont leave even when I try to make it.

I was talking with a professional the other day and he made the point that as Americans we often are taught not to grieve. If we look at other cultures they know how to grieve. I have a great picture of a friend that lost her daughter after a long battle with cancer. She was wailing at the casket. She was grieving and didn’t have a worry about what others thought about it. Her hair was unkempt. Her clothing messed up, her balance out of whack. She was not concerned how the rest of the world was taking it; she did what she had to do. She didn’t show up for work like nothing was wrong. She didn’t smile and nod at those that came to be with her. She grieved.

Also, if we look at the Old Testament, or Hebrew Scriptures, there is a protocol to mourning or grieving. Sack cloth and ashes, oils, the way you walked, all these showed you were mourning. And I am sure people gave you space. They comforted you and did what they could to help. Yet we as Americans are actually taught how to suppress it, how to move on after it and how to not let it bring us down. Now I didn’t take a course in high school or college called “how to suppress grief”. But I did see how others went back to work after losing their wife, sister, mother, brother, father, neighbor, child or friend to a tragic death, car wreck or even old age. I was taught that death happens when my cat shadow died when I was 6 or 7. I was given blueberry oatmeal and allowed to cry for one day. But the next day I had to return to school, or maybe it was that morning. I was 6, two hours of crying and a nap feels like a day. This carried onto the dogs, then my grandfathers, and friends and so on until today. Now I was never numb to these things. Hearing of a friend’s death still makes me feel like a got a basketball thrown to my nose. But I still don’t know how to grieve. I am mad at God and then move on with my life.

Shortly after this discussion, the professional asked if I ever truly grieved my father. Did I ever think about it? Of course I think about it, was my answer. But I am still thinking of a real answer. I punched a wall. I drank, I smoked, I moved on.

But did I truly grieve and deal? I know I am compelled to the same thing as I hear about death now. Therefore I would have to say no.

There is no conclusion here. Just a rant on how I don’t grieve. Also a little explanation for possibly some other words I have said recently.

( *I say this not because I don’t believe he will be in heaven, but because I don’t know if heaven is a big social club where we talk to other people we knew that have become angels. I think it is a place where we will be praising God but don’t know what that looks like because sometimes praising God is sitting around having the greatest pancakes that He has created.)

ps. please comment as you see fit.

Death

2008-03-18T01:56:00.002-04:00

Please pray for those affected by death in the Portland area. I can give details if you ask me directly.

Pray for Jenny and her "family", and Brooke, Adelle and Nate.

Creative update title

2008-03-16T19:41:00.006-04:00

Hello All.

So I have been meaning to update for awhile and was finally incredibly inspired at service this morning. I am starting a job tomorrow, actually training for a job. I will be a graveyard shift security guard. I hesitated to say this for a few reasons. Mostly it is the pay, but also the respect. I have noticed how the guards at my local Safeway are not acknowledged by most peoples, and figure it would only be an extension of my temp work positions for less pay. REspect has been on my mind a lot lately. When I went to a mental health conference a few weeks ago, one of the questions was about how much other people respect you. It is something I rated quite low and something I have been thinking about improving. And whether you look at it this way or not, in my head the pay I make equates to respect. This job will be about 75% of what I was making before and what supposedly I am worth. But it is infinitely more than I have been making since I came here. Another reason I struggled to accept the position is I have to shave my face. For some reason people think if your chin is covered you are not professional occasionally. That has actually been the huge struggle for me. I have had a clean chin for only 1 month since I was 20.

I was offered the position on Wednesday and have been thinking of calling and removing my commitment since. I have looked much harder for a job since then and kept hoping I would win the lottery or something. I haven’t actually played though so that is really hard. (Side note…the Oregon Lottery symbol is below…it is the most awesome sign ever and real. I smile still almost every time I see it.)

These thoughts were going around my head as I walked to church…also I was wondering why I walked because it was so flippin cold and windy and looking like it would dump rain at anytime. I actually felt like God was going to directly speak to these needs/ thoughts/ issues. I kind of just knew I needed it although I hesitate to have great expectations, especially at church.

When I sat down, I actually had someone talk to me though ironically he was visiting from Texas. But it still put me in a good mood. The worship was pretty awesome and then Dr. Rick hit it out of the park…speaking of respect— Dr. Rick. My pastor just got his doctorate and one of the leaders did this little announcement of it. Rick seemed really uncomfortable about that, but thanked people for helping him in the midst of it. I am now looking to see if he refers to himself as such. I have a feeling it won’t come out much.

This leads me to the fact I have been struggling with humbleness lately. It is a weird thing because when you say you are humble you lose humble points. 4 or 5 years ago it was normal occurrence for people to tell me I was humble when I was edified. Then I took SBS. Seriously it was around 05 that I just stopped being a servant some how. I got burnt out possibly, stressed, overworked…blahblahblah. It was late last year that I realized I am no longer a servant. I like it when people bring me things, wash my dishes, do my work and such. Where as before I would help stack the chairs, clean up after a meal, accept a less than great job, drive people around, and often I helped without a need to be asked. Nowadays I need people to tell me when I need to help.

The text of the sermon today was Luke 9: 18 ff where Jesus talks about taking up your cross daily and dying to self. Automatically I started thinking of the previous sermons I had heard. Then it hit me, something spoke to me asking, “When was the last time you really died to self?”

Then it really hit me. I am being asked by God if I would humble myself. For me to take up my cross i would have to become humble. Isn't that what dying to self, or denying one's self means?

I have been having a really bad time interviewing since I came back from Asia. Also just speaking to people, I am incredibly introverted and quiet. There are many times where i feel like i should say something but don't know what to say. I have been struggling to get a job I enjoy. One of the thoughts I have had lately is that God gave me skills and I had to use them. This is true, but how much pride should I take in them? Sadly, if I had been humble a month ago, when I first contacted the guard firm, I would not be as stressed about my money and might be less lazy than I have become. Luckily before I even knew this lesson, I responded to the ad and am now going to be a security guard. Otherwise it would be another week of debt added. I have decided I don’t want to be there for just a couple days and quit so it has been hard to swallow. Although I have requested 3rd shift so I can still interview during the day, I am hoping this lasts for a couple months at least. Just trying to do what I feel God is leading me into. I am tired of writing so will end that story here.

I am doing well otherwise. Had a cold last week but thats gone. Have started donating plasma twice a week which is an interesting experience. It is not difficult and pays really well. Definently more than free whole blood donations. But only 2 are allowed a week so I can't make a career of it.

Thanks for reading and hope all is well. Enjoy the greatest company symbol ever!

from God's Politics/ beliefnet

2008-03-10T19:07:00.000-04:00

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Wake-Up Calls (by Brian McLaren)

This is an important year for studies on religious life in the U.S. From Kinnaman and Lyon's UnChristian, to David T. Olson's The American Church in Crisis, data is accumulating that business/ministry as usual is not a great strategy for most U.S. denominations and nondenominations.

The new Pew study highlights the fluidity of commitment among the American people of faith, and it raises important questions for church leaders in at least three areas.

1. If congregations and denominations are not connecting with people's questions, needs, and desires - people are moving on. Old-fashioned denominational loyalty is gone. Church leaders can complain about it, but they'd also better acknowledge it. Now this fact could be used to advocate increased religious pandering ... a "give 'em what they want" approach that turns church leaders into "purveyors of religious goods and services" (a damning turn of phrase from the missional church folk) who are competing for share of the religious market.

But it could also have a much more positive effect: by convincing church leaders that blindly maintaining the status quo is a losing strategy, the data can liberate them to ask deeper questions like ... Why are churches here? What is our mission? What is our core message? Does Christ's church have a mission, or does Christ's mission have a church? How much can, and should, change in our churches? What shifts in church history can guide us as we face this sea-change in our religious environment? In other words, the new data could challenge leaders to ask, not simply, "What do the customers want?" but, "What does God want?" ... and not just "What do members need from their church?" but "What does the world need our churches to become, be, and do so that God's will can be done on earth as it is in heaven?"

2. People are dropping out of church altogether. The fastest-growing religious segment - especially among the young - continues to be the unaffiliated. If the "church growth" question of the 90's was, "How are we going to attract baby boomers to come back to church services on Sunday?" the "church mission" question in coming years might be, "How can our churches inspire younger generations to live a new way of life as disciples each day of the week?"

3. Old categories are blurring and old identities are diversifying and fragmenting. The study highlights the simultaneous growth and diversification of the old evangelical base, for example. As older generations pass from the scene and the alliances they created lose strength, who will help catalyze new movements and alliances? What will their priorities and ethos be?

In light of the accumulating data, it's become increasingly clear: we don't just need new answers to old questions, but we need new questions as well.

Brian McLaren (brianmclaren.net) is board chair for Sojourners. He is in the middle of an eleven-city speaking tour you can learn about at deepshift.org.

Filed Under: casting stones, Pew Study

online job searches

2008-03-02T04:20:00.001-05:00

The top 3 results for my financial clerk searches today were as follows....i am in a bad spot I think.

Nationwide	$300/Day on Google. All people: Admin, Data Entry, Sales, IT, HR	Google Work From Home - Earn Up To $4,000-$7,500/Mo At Home!	» more info
Nationwide	ACTOR - MOVIE EXTRA! part time/clerical/work/customer service	IMMEDIATE OPENINGS, up to $250/day, NO EXPERIENCE OK	» more info
Nationwide	$200/DAY! PROCESS DIET ORDERS ON HOME COMPUTER! acct/csr/manager	New Diet Corp. Will Pay You $6000/Month To Process Orders On P/C	» more info

One week

2008-03-02T03:41:00.003-05:00

What a difference a week can make...I am back to being bored and tired of not having money. On Monday approximately 12 hours after I sent my update to all, my life crashed and one of the worst days of my life began. I say that, yet I didn't wreck my car, discover I have cancer of the big toe or get hit by a bus while crossing the street. In fact I woke up late, got insanely lost, was an hour late for work and then dismissed at 4 because of lack of work. I finished 15 days of work in slightly less than 5 even though I felt I was working significantly slower than my max. And I did have a great work out that day. So maybe it wasn't that bad, but the first 2 hours stunk like an Indian street dump. I realized later in the day that I made rent for the month in those 5 days of work which is amazing to see God’s provision in a place to stay and a job to pay for that.

Since then I have been rejected from at least 2 other jobs, wasted a significant amount of time sleeping and sitting around, watched 14 hours of Six Feet Under and had a couple fights with banks trying to prove to me I have no money by charging me NSF fees. Isn’t that nice? I hate it honestly.

I finished one book- Take This Bread by Sara Miles- which I highly recommend to those wondering about a secular opinion on communion. I say secular because it is written by a lesbian who goes to a very liberal church and is scared of most common churches in America. From her testimony she might be more likely to get to heaven than Benny Hinn, simply because she started food pantries to give food to the “poor”. Many of which Ps. Benny tells he can bless if they send their disability checks to him.

I started The God Delusion tonight and obviously have a couple beefs with the words I read in the Preface. Things like indoctrination, and the thoughts a creator is not needed to bring something into being. WHAT? How are clothes, houses, food made without a creator to start it? That never made sense. But he has me thinking about religions around the world and how people live by them- Buddhists in Asia, Muslims in the Middle East, Christians in the “West”, Animism in the jungle….why are the lines established as such still in the day of worldwide communication?

As for other things I am struggling with hearing clearly from God which ironically leads me to not try much harder, but instead go the opposite and figure He is speaking. Obviously I am frustrated by the lack of work and implement of credit card and NSF fees. I found out from my roommates that all 3 will be leaving in the next 2 months…which I am assuming will bring interesting thoughts to the land lord. Luckily I am not the one who has to pay the mortgage, but I would have to cover all of the electricity and potentially purchase the internet routers to keep that going and covered. The joy of realizing God paid my rent didn’t last long with my Eeyore (an actual clinical term by counselors apparently) tendencies. So even though the weather has been good for Portland winters, I have been sitting around waiting for the sky to fall. I don’t necessarily want to even though I am doing it. As Paul-the apostle, not some friend- once said “I don’t do what I want to do, yet keep doing what I don’t want to do.”

SO basically friends I can use prayer. I was offered a position that needs to be approved still that would be almost perfect for me. A little but less pay but 40 hours a week till July or so. This is a good timing as it will allow me to take some time abroad before I start a training program to finish my degree in August.

Thanks and May God Bless You.

Amen?

Flesch Reading Ease 72.6

Ashes Wednesday

2008-02-07T05:21:00.000-05:00

Sitting in the midst of service tonight I felt strangely at home in a place I had never been before. Today is Ash Wednesday, in most Christian circles. I go to a bible based, independent, inter denominational church, which often means the church does not celebrate traditions or anything that can be called ritual. This church however embraces it. So I went to church on a Wednesday for the first time in quite awhile. I went because I was bored. I also went because I could not remember the last time I went and got ashes on my forehead. I am sure I have gone since my dad died but I haven’t for the last 3 years, possibly even 6 or more. Obviously if I did it wasn’t a life changing experience, like tonight.

We were all sitting in a church sanctuary, not just an auditorium, but a church, which was obviously strange for some people- their tattoos and piercings were burning or something as they nervously looked around and rubbed themselves. It was cold, wet, raining and dark outside. Perfect conditions to be inside. The traffic getting there was pitiful even for a former Atlanta driver. It was raining enough I had a hard time seeing the lanes, which is bad in this town. One guy I recently met described them as paved cow paths made by cows doing acid. I almost hit a parked car because the lane went from a lane to a parking lot, no joke and no warning. The pastor wore black but he always does that. He wasn’t up front though; he was working the sound board or at least talking to that dude. There was a screen down with the face of Jesus projected on it. It is a reminder of what we are at Imago Dei- “the image of God.” It was like a mirror for some, I am sure.

The service started late because of traffic. A hymn was sung acapella. My voice was coming out too strong in the real church. I didn’t know the words and hymns require you to do so unlike Matt Redman. Then there was a scripture reading – Isaiah 58. It was powerful about the true meaning of fasting and sacrifice. There was a prayer of repentance- similar to Setting 2 in the front of the LBW. And a couple moments of silence. God started working on me. Another scripture starts. Psalm 51. Maybe I was a little hungry to just be getting close to God again or needed another kick in pants or maybe the spirit was meeting me. I don’t know, but I was no longer bored.

As Psalm 51 was being read, I realized that I was SO sinful. I thought of the sins I had committed in the last week and then wondered if I had committed all of the 7 deadly ones – then I am wondering how Brad Pitt is doing or something before I got back on topic. Lust? I need to change my desktop photo, and phone, and wallet until she has a ring, not too mention the lust of jobs, cars, money, travel, better life

Gluttony? Double portion spaghetti before I came, yep

Greed? Collecting state quarters, umhmm,

Sloth? – does waking up at 3 pm count? How about getting nothing done on my 3^rd “Sabbath” of the week?

Wrath? – got verbally mad at that parked car driver

Envy? – I don’t actually want the wife, 3 kids and nice car, do I?

Pride? – Finally, I am the best in the world at being humble

Six out of seven is not bad. After all it was Mardi Gras yesterday so none of that counts right? It is nowhere near as bad as Joe Francis’ crew and what they did. I am sure God was too busy writing tickets for other people to worry about me.

The pastor is now speaking about sacrifice. I don’t need to hear about this, I sacrifice too much already. I shut off and am thinking about the fact that all sin is equal and wonder then if all sacrifice is all equal. If murder and speaking evil are equal, would fasting a week and not buying one coffee be the same? I am not sure what the pastor is talking about until he speaks of the cross. I pay attention again as it is most likely ending. He is talking how the cross is not the end, but the empty tomb is the beginning of a new life for each of us.

Now it’s the time to do that dust to dust thing. I start realizing this is real. As Psalm 51 appears on the screen over Jesus’ face it hits me. This is the time to sacrifice, to change, to repent, to be willing, to do all that you keep saying you will. Its time to walk that talk. I start getting that unworthy feeling that often comes over me as I prepare to take communion. I often skip communion cause of this. It doesn’t end until I am crying on the outside and torn up on the inside. Thinking of my God does that to me. I think of the fact that these ashes are the palms that they ushered him into Jerusalem with and are now dust. The contradiction and the frailty of man. I think of Ecclesiastes and how the world’s wisest man felt like all is worthless under the sun. I think of eternity and how my life might be so small in retrospect to the creation till now. It starts raining harder outside and with the wind it kind of sounds like Jesus might come back right now. I wonder what I would say to those around me if they fly up, or if they don’t. I wonder if that story is real and now I am back to my sin.

It is my turn to go up but I am not ready to do this. I stand in line praying, silently, fervently… hopingly. Finally I realize that I am dust. I am worthless, and that’s a great thing. I am nothing and that is when I walk forward.

“You come from dust and to dust you shall return”

The leader marks me. I smile and start to walk away.

But his face gets tense and his mouth opens,

“Turn away from sin and live a life pleasing to God”

Amen.

I walk back torn up inside knowing that I am loved and that my sins are forgiven like that woman at the well. But it did not happen right then. It happened nearly 2000 years ago on a hill.

As I sat down and looked up…the words of Psalm 51 still scrolling I see “Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing loving kindness; according to your great abundance of compassion…Wash away…Cleanse me...for …my sin is always before me, for against you…only have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight.”

This is what is upon us Christians. The remembrance of our redemption by a Saviour that not only took our sins, but defeated death by rising again. An empty grave is coming. are you prepared to turn from all that holds you back and start that new complete life? For those who don’t know what this means, are you ready to start a completely new life?

Pray with me….

Father God, I thank you for what I have and most of all for the loving kindness you give in our times of needs. Thank you that we are blessed by your compassion and you do forgive us for our wrong doings. Let us rejoice in that empty grave and use this coming season to prepare ourselves for a wondrous new life wholly devoted to you. May we stop dwelling on what we have done wrong and instead accept your mercy through sacrifice. May we sacrifice to honor You. And let us think what we can do to honour you whether it is through sacrifice or life change or just loving others.

Thanks Lord for all you give. And thanks for this season to rejoice in the empty grave.

Let it be.

Reading Ease: 82.7

Redefining Walking With Jesus

"Imagine if the Tea Party Was Black" - Tim Wise

"Imagine if the Tea Party Was Black" - Tim Wise

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Late Nigth Politics

The Story of the Gravy Chip

Only in Portland

Situation

Righteous Anger ?!?

Because i complained!!!

What I read

Is That Jesus in the Next Port-o-Let?

Saya takut untuk orang putih

Dua Jam

Satu Jam

Update

http://blog.beliefnet.com/godspolitics/2008/03/i-never-saw-them-as-human-bein.html

'I Never Saw Them as Human Beings' (by Omar Al-Rikabi)